With tears in his eyes, the little boy told his kindergarten teacher that only one pair of boots was left in the classroom and they weren’t his.
The teacher searched and searched, but she couldn’t find any other boots. “Are you sure these boots aren’t yours?” – she asked.
“I’m sure,” the little boy sobbed. “Mine had snow on them.”
Teacher: Why do traffic lights turn red?
Student: You would too if you had to stop and go in the middle of the street.
What would happen if you took the school bus home?
The police would make you bring it back.
My little sister is so smart! She’s only in nursery school and she can spell her name backwards and forwards.
Really? What’s her name?
Father: Aren’t you first in anything at school?
Junior: Sure, Dad. I’m first out when the bell rings!
Did you hear about the little kid who copied from his friend’s arithmetic test paper by using a mirror?
He got all his answers backwards. His friend got a grade of 93 and he got 39.
Kid 1: Where do blue eggs come from?
Kid 2: From sad chickens.
During Show and Tell, Miss Johnson showed pictures of different birds.
“George,” she said, “what kind of bird do you like best?”
George thought for a while. “Fried chicken,” he replied.
Teacher: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
Student: You can’t fool me, teacher. Snakes don’t have feet.
Teacher: Where do fish sleep?
Student: In water beds.
Teacher: Order, children! Order!
Student: I’ll have a burget with French fries.
Student: Is a chicken big enough to eat when it’s two weeks old?
Teacher: Of course not!
Student: Then how does it manage to live?
“It’s clear,” said the tacher, “that you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?”
“Well–my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait a little while until it settles down.”
Herman’s teacher always rewarded good work by putting a gold star at the top of her students’ homework. One day Herman came home with a big zero at the top of his paper.
“Herman, what does this mean?” asked his mother.
“Oh,” Herman explained, “my teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon.”
Teacher: What is an island?
Student: An island is a piece of land surrounded by water except in one place.
Teacher: What place is that?
Student: On top.
Teacher: If one and one make two, and two and two make four, how much do four and four make?
Student: That’s not fair, teacher. You answer the easy ones yourself and leave the hard ones for us.
Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn’t know. Today she asked us again.
“Abraham Lincoln had a hard childhood,” explained the first-grade teacher. “He had to walk nearly seven miles to school every day.”
“It was his own fault,” said Norman. “Why couldn’t he get up and catch the school bus like everybody else?”
Teacher: Alfred, why don’t you answer me?
Alfred: I did, teacher. I shook my head.
Teacher: you don’t expect me to hear it rattle from up here, do you?
“No one likes me at school,” said the son to his mother. “The kids don’t and the teachers don’t. I want to stay home.”
“You have to go, son,” insisted his mother. “You’re not sick, and you have a lot to learn. Besides, you’re 45 years old. You’are the principal and you have to go to school!”