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Fourth of July Jokes

Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia.”
Student: “False. It was written in ink.”

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.

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Why did the British soldiers wear red coat?
So they could hide in the tomatoes.

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What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved.

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What’s red, white, blue, and ugly?
The Revolutionary Warthog.

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How was the good at the Fourth of July picnic?
The hot dogs were bad, but the brats were the wurst!
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Why did Paul Revere ride from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
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What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry.
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What’s red, white, blue, and green?
A patriotic pickle.
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Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
They’re both cracked.
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What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?
Fire-crackers.
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What’s red, white, blue and green?
A seasick Uncle Sam!
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Why did the duck say, “Bang”?
He was a fire-quacker.
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What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British.
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What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty.
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What did King George think of the American colonist?
He thought they were revolting!
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How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?
The Boston Flea Party.
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What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?
Yankee Doodler.
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Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.
Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.

4th of July Facts:

The 4th of July was not declared a national holiday until 1941.
When the United States became a country in 1776, there were approximately 2.5 million people living in the country. This Fourth of July 2013, the population is around 313.2 million.
The youngest signer of the Declaration of Independence was 26-year-old Edward Rutledge. The oldest signer was Benjamin Franklin. He was 70. Most of the signers were in their 30s and 40s.
The American flag was adopted on June 14, 1777.

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Ron June 5, 2013, 12:29 am

    Funny

  • Stephen July 4, 2013, 10:38 am

    Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York?
    Because she can’t sit down.

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