Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.”
Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?”
Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?”
Tech Support: “Yes.”
Customer: “Just great — I knew it! He’s in trouble now! He was there for almost a half hour! How much does AOL charge for long distance?”
Tech Support: “It does not work that way. You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.”
Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra. It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t. England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.”
After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL. A while later she called back.
Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites. I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.”
Tech Support: “Yes?”
Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?”
Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.”
Customer: “Wonderful! My oldest son works in Sweden. He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone. This will save us lots of money! Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
F1! = Help!
Two geeks are talking over lunch.
The first guy says, “You wouldn’t believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said ‘Take whatever you want!’ … So I took the bike”
The second guy says, “Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:
PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”