Jokes   111 comments

Posted at 9:53 am in

Enjoy :D

 

Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?

Student: Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.

 

Two factory workers are talking.

Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off.
Man: And how would you do that?
Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

Boss comes in: What are you doing?
Woman: I’m a light bulb.
Boss: You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.

The man starts to follow her and the boss says: Where are you going?
The man says: I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.

 

A man is talking to God.

The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it’s about a minute.
The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it’s a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.

 

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”

The little girl replied, “My homework.”

 

The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

 

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”

 

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

 

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.
“Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.
“No.” replied the boy.
“I’m the principal’s daughter.” said the girl.
“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.
“No,” she replied.
“Thank goodness!” said the boy with a sign of relief.

 

Teacher asked George: how can you prove the earth is round?
George replied: I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.

 

Teacher: Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?
Student: A heart attack.

 

Teacher: This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.
Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.

 


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Written by Stephen on September 15th, 2008

111 Responses to: Jokes

  1. puppy -- 22 Nov 08 at 6:13 am

     

    good one!

  2. abhi -- 1 Feb 09 at 4:29 am

     

    great site ……….full with education and fun!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. pooja -- 14 Feb 09 at 4:59 am

     

    IT WAS YAK !!!!!!!! THUU!!!!!!!!!! CHEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. ebong franklin -- 7 Apr 09 at 9:49 am

     

    as the boss i will always live the light bulb on fot the co worker to continue working, good for suppervisors

  5. Ms. Erika M. Calaranan -- 18 May 09 at 6:36 am

     

    VERY NICE!
    I LOVE IT!

  6. divs -- 31 May 09 at 6:16 am

     

    really very interesting!!! and funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Peter Manser -- 6 Jun 09 at 8:42 am

     

    Q: What is the biggest room in the world?

    A: The room for improvement!!

    Q: Why do they say “An elephant never forgets!”?

    A: Nobody ever asked him to remember anything!!

    Q: What part of a car causes the most accidents?

    A: The nut behind the wheel!!

    Q: How can you tell when a politician is lying?

    A: When his lips are moving!!

    Q: Why did the computer cross the road?

    A: It was programmed by a chicken!!

  8. shameir and babu -- 19 Jun 09 at 4:06 am

     

    It is funny and I enjoy reading these jokes.

  9. SHAMEIR AND BABU -- 19 Jun 09 at 4:09 am

     

    HA!HA!HA!I LIKE THIS WEBSITE!

  10. niTin -- 12 Oct 09 at 8:02 am

     

    Really Funny!!

  11. Sanket -- 17 Nov 09 at 2:01 am

     

    It was superb…
    I liked the most of man to god…

  12. Hooreya -- 27 Nov 09 at 4:32 am

     

    HILARIOUS!
    I loved the one with the student being late.
    but don’t think im like that

  13. pawan -- 3 Jan 10 at 3:40 am

     

    greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. sara -- 19 Jan 10 at 11:58 am

     

    these r litterly awesome loveeeeee it.hahahha.;)lol

  15. Amrutha -- 30 Jan 10 at 6:51 am

     

    Lovely jokes!!!

  16. kimani -- 1 Feb 10 at 12:09 pm

     

    Q. Y DID THE SURFER CROSS DA ROAD?
    A. TO CATCH THE WAVE

  17. Tina -- 26 Feb 10 at 2:12 pm

     

    While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.

    Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.

    A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”

  18. vanessa medrano -- 14 Mar 10 at 3:43 am

     

    ;”)that’s so hilarious!

  19. ace of spade -- 19 Mar 10 at 8:28 pm

     

    soo funny….
    can anyone post a better joke…
    that really can make me laugh to dead……
    hahahahahahahahaha….

  20. patrick -- 1 Apr 10 at 8:43 am

     

    i love your jokes because they are responsibly composed.
    thanks.

  21. Riya -- 23 Apr 10 at 10:00 am

     

    ah..now that’s funny.. :P

  22. Yanira -- 30 Apr 10 at 1:47 pm

     

    Great jokes! Healthy Humor(:

  23. Brant Driever -- 1 May 10 at 8:17 pm

     

    LOL Good one! :)

  24. khouloud kleshko -- 14 May 10 at 8:56 am

     

    very funny………. good work……. waiting for more

  25. Esha -- 20 May 10 at 5:53 am

     

    very ncie

  26. Floreby -- 28 Jun 10 at 8:56 pm

     

    I love them. Jokes are simple, nicely written and clean. Add more!

  27. madhur -- 3 Jul 10 at 5:33 am

     

    These jokes are so superb and interesting

  28. chandini -- 22 Jul 10 at 1:40 pm

     

    it was great fun reading them

  29. jefry rejinold -- 29 Jul 10 at 6:11 am

     

    really ha,ha,……

  30. Rikki -- 29 Jul 10 at 7:40 am

     

    Loved the one with the Essay on the dog! Absolutely adorable! I’m still laughing!

  31. brittney -- 27 Aug 10 at 11:14 pm

     

    LOVED THE ONE WHERE MAN TALKS TO GOD. THAT WAS THE BEST ONE. GREAT THINKING!!!

  32. nikunj -- 5 Oct 10 at 8:11 am

     

    wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. jem -- 6 Oct 10 at 4:01 am

     

    hahahahahAhahahahahaha……i love it

  34. ram -- 8 Oct 10 at 1:02 am

     

    it is so………..funny

  35. pavan -- 3 Nov 10 at 10:08 am

     

    sooooooooooooooooooooooooo ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  36. Ngocanh -- 11 Nov 10 at 1:33 am

     

    Very very nice….

  37. Prachi -- 29 Nov 10 at 5:12 am

     

    what a ggrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaatt site! i lvd reading the jokes…

  38. Paeng -- 4 Dec 10 at 11:41 pm

     

    Awesome……………… Congrats for that nice jokes….

  39. Baxw6 -- 6 Dec 10 at 10:49 am

     

    hahahahahhahahah it wasn’t funny :)

  40. Bandonlang -- 10 Dec 10 at 4:04 am

     

    IT’S REALLY FUN INDEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  41. aish -- 13 Dec 10 at 1:40 am

     

    superb! but hard to understand….

  42. Baxw6 -- 26 Dec 10 at 1:26 pm

     

    there was a little boy , his mother was pregnant
    he asked: What’s in your stomach mom?
    mother: Um.. It’s your brother
    tomorrow , the teacher : Who has little brother or sister?
    the little boy: I have a brother but my mother ate him

  43. Nihal mahanto -- 2 Jan 11 at 7:10 am

     

    ha ha ha, i and my friend Sanjay enjoyed these jokes..thank you

  44. fprince -- 2 Jan 11 at 10:09 am

     

    :) ). So funny , lol, i can’t stop laughing ^^ .
    Baxw6 , your joke is good too.

  45. lol hustyera -- 9 Jan 11 at 11:19 pm

     

    Gir:Man30x
    Boy:What??
    Girl:nothing
    Girl:I hate you!

  46. esan -- 30 Jan 11 at 11:32 am

     

    super jokes

  47. harini -- 4 Feb 11 at 9:51 am

     

    this is soo funny It is very nice………………………………

  48. Black -- 8 Feb 11 at 9:55 pm

     

    they were all good jokes!!!!!!!

  49. sachs -- 20 Feb 11 at 5:23 am

     

    yippee!!!!!!!!

  50. zainal -- 19 Mar 11 at 9:02 pm

     

    the jokes hv made my day… ha ha ha

  51. shabna -- 20 Mar 11 at 9:31 am

     

    it was great !!!!!! i loved it.

  52. kiki98526 -- 22 Mar 11 at 3:39 am

     

    It is a very gooood joke.♥ it.☻

  53. pushpa -- 31 Mar 11 at 5:42 am

     

    i enjoyed with these jokes , hope will get some more jokes for us .

  54. vivek -- 4 Apr 11 at 8:52 pm

     

    i enjoyed with these jokes, it is a very gooood joke. ♥ it.☻

  55. vivek -- 4 Apr 11 at 8:54 pm

     

    great site ……….full with education and fun!!!!!!!!!!!

  56. chuni -- 17 May 11 at 6:22 am

     

    I love it………;-) everybody should check it out and enjoy it like I did……

  57. violet -- 25 May 11 at 8:31 am

     

    so cool man, all these JOKES!

  58. N D Naik -- 4 Jun 11 at 12:59 am

     

    Very interesting

  59. Rajesh -- 20 Jun 11 at 12:15 pm

     

    Nice jokes and I liked the story: the story of a blind girl. It is very touching…

  60. Sravanthi -- 22 Jun 11 at 1:24 am

     

    Full entertainment :)

  61. Maha -- 25 Jun 11 at 8:26 am

     

    I liked the jokes very much, it was fun reading them.

  62. Ashna Sambhar -- 1 Jul 11 at 12:41 pm

     

    I am with Pooja…. it was nt good… :D

  63. Ashna Sambhar -- 2 Jul 11 at 5:15 am

     

    When I was in nursery, someone stole my rough notebook. Now they call it “OxFORD DICTIONARY”.
    Crazy fans!☻
    NO claps plz!☻
    I don’t like publicity! :D

  64. CHIKU -- 8 Jul 11 at 4:04 am

     

    funtaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasticcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

  65. Jango -- 16 Jul 11 at 4:22 pm

     

    Cool jokes…

  66. Alee -- 21 Jul 11 at 3:11 am

     

    it is soooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  67. Alee -- 21 Jul 11 at 3:12 am

     

    So nice.

  68. Tamanna -- 27 Jul 11 at 10:41 am

     

    so funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

  69. Naresh -- 2 Aug 11 at 6:57 am

     

    Niceeee….love it…….

  70. Amit Singh -- 9 Aug 11 at 2:34 am

     

    Really Great jokes I never ever read dis much good jokes

  71. Bidyut Naskar -- 27 Aug 11 at 7:24 am

     

    it is very good, i laugh so much
    thanks

  72. Rajiv.singh -- 5 Sep 11 at 7:45 pm

     

    Good site. . . Liked it. . The jokes . . The stories. . . . Everything out here. Keep it up.

  73. tanshi -- 6 Sep 11 at 10:26 am

     

    awsm jokes … bt d best 1 was tat dummy principal 1

  74. Raj -- 14 Sep 11 at 5:40 am

     

    A underworld don’s son came home from school after attending his exams.

    Father: how was your exam?
    Son: they had given me questions to answer within 3 hours, but I did not answer anything or opened my mouth.

  75. mohit -- 15 Sep 11 at 5:09 am

     

    awsum…….. keep posting new jokes

  76. Kc -- 23 Sep 11 at 3:48 pm

     

    It’s all funny but I love the most when the boy was late. More jokes pls :-)

  77. Shashii -- 27 Sep 11 at 1:56 am

     

    Sometimes small things in real life hurt a lot. If you don’t believe me then try to sit on a small pin :D

  78. Ninu -- 28 Sep 11 at 12:43 am

     

    It is fantastic…….!!!!!!!!!!!

  79. afra -- 28 Sep 11 at 10:19 am

     

    nice jokeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

  80. akhi -- 28 Sep 11 at 10:09 pm

     

    it’s veery nice

  81. Shashii -- 30 Sep 11 at 1:17 pm

     

    A Gujju having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God. God became happy with his prayers, grants him only one wish.
    Gujju : Dear God, I have only one wish, I only want my mother to see my wife putting 2 crore worth solitare bangles on my child’s hands in my mercedes benz car parked in our new penthouse’s compound situated next to the swimming pool at Beverly Hills.
    God : Damn it ! I still have a lot to learn from these gujju’s..

  82. Tundrasurfr -- 16 Oct 11 at 11:26 pm

     

    After telling a friend of mine a joke, she responded with a question mark. A few minutes later she again responded, “oh k, finally got it, I was a bit slow”. My response to her was, “next time, I’ll be sure to type a lil slower so you can understand it faster”.

  83. Miss Dhie_23 -- 20 Oct 11 at 1:42 am

     

    I really like the site!!! Inspiring.. although I’ve read it already.. LIKE!!!! Yeah.. God bless..

  84. Shashii -- 26 Oct 11 at 3:53 am

     

    Teeth said to tongue, “If I just press you little hard, you will get cut. Tongue replied, “If I misuse one word against someone, then all the 32 of you will come out at once”.

  85. Hucen -- 27 Oct 11 at 6:12 am

     

    Reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cooooooooooooooooooool and interesting jokes…………………………………………..
    You can make anyone Laugh…

  86. Really nice and funny -- 27 Oct 11 at 1:46 pm

     

    This is really good

  87. Lana -- 28 Oct 11 at 9:53 pm

     

    hahahah…laughing by myself at home hahahahah

  88. Shashii -- 1 Nov 11 at 1:39 am

     

    Doctor : Have you ever fainted before ?
    Patient : Yes, the last time you told me your fees…

  89. Cuthbert -- 4 Nov 11 at 5:45 pm

     

    These jokes can make one die from laughter.

  90. DEaTH BY JokES -- 6 Nov 11 at 10:30 pm

     

    LMAO… Please make more jokes!!!!

  91. Soumiya -- 11 Nov 11 at 8:52 am

     

    soooooooooooo funnnnnnnnnny. keep on going

  92. shashii -- 19 Nov 11 at 8:49 am

     

    This is not a joke but very interesting management lesson. Read on….
    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was very cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realise how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out ! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing with joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cowdung and promptly dug him out and ate him.
    Management lesson – (1) Not everyone who shits on you in your enemy.
    (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
    (3) And when you are in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut !

  93. Lakis -- 22 Nov 11 at 5:40 am

     

    How could you taste me if you won’t undress me?

    ——-banana

  94. Prachi -- 27 Nov 11 at 1:23 am

     

    Nice jokes

  95. Dimple -- 18 Dec 11 at 3:37 am

     

    One day a husband asked his wife: are you fine…….?
    This day was so hard working day isn’t it?
    A girl— I am not your wife. I am your girlfriend and it was a good day because you took me to the shopping…….. :D

  96. Namita -- 20 Dec 11 at 4:13 am

     

    1) A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife?
    After making call he asked how much to pay.
    Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

    2) One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up
    MOM: Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.
    SON: But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.
    MOM: Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.
    SON: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.
    MOM: Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.
    SON: Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?
    MOM: One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

  97. Namita -- 20 Dec 11 at 4:30 am

     

    1) Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: ” Bombay … Bombay ”
    Air hostess said: “B silent..”
    Sardar: “Ok.. Ombay. Ombay”

    2) Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?”
    Sardar: “All are born on government holidays…!!!

    3) Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
    Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

  98. Amit -- 30 Dec 11 at 4:38 am

     

    Really great website and jokes by everyone.

    Great to see people pool-in. A Happy New Year to all of you.

  99. E.Meenakshi -- 1 Jan 12 at 11:55 am

     

    Good jokes – made me laugh heartily

  100. jayson -- 6 Jan 12 at 8:00 am

     

    hahahahahaha….
    I really can’t help laughing..
    the Ombay…Ombay one is also funny..!
    good job..!

  101. Ashwini -- 7 Jan 12 at 8:10 am

     

    I love this site. I mean it is simply great to have things like these in a package… and the stories… they are awesome!!! Love you people :)

  102. Shabeer -- 15 Jan 12 at 3:05 am

     

    Teacher: Abraham Lincoln sat under a street light to study when he was a child and later he could become the president of America.
    Student: Why he didn’t study on day time?

  103. 0girl0 -- 24 Jan 12 at 11:58 pm

     

    Can i have more jokes please. I just want to get rid of stress by enjoying these jokes.

  104. Radhika -- 25 Jan 12 at 9:22 am

     

    I liked ombay ombay ha ha ha ha

  105. Olufemi -- 26 Jan 12 at 9:42 am

     

    Interesting…want more of it

  106. Joy Ohams -- 26 Jan 12 at 12:05 pm

     

    Good

  107. Pop Girl 00 -- 1 Feb 12 at 6:29 pm

     

    Jokee!!

    Q: What’s invisible and smells like bananas?
    A: A Monkey Fart.

    Hahahahahaha!!

  108. Pop Girl 00 -- 1 Feb 12 at 6:29 pm

     

    I hope you like it :D

  109. Chandani -- 2 Feb 12 at 7:11 am

     

    This is superb site!

  110. Shasha -- 2 Feb 12 at 10:04 am

     

    Really nice jokes hahahahaaaaha!!!!! and pop girl your joke was quite nice

  111. Shasha -- 2 Feb 12 at 10:08 am

     

    just no word but :) :) :) :)

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