Jokes

by Stephen on September 15, 2008 · 385 comments

Enjoy these beautiful, really funny educational jokes! Don’t forget to check out those really funny ones in the comments too :D


Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”

:D :P :mrgreen:

Two factory workers talking:

Woman: “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
Man: “And how would you do that?”
Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

Boss comes in: “What are you doing?”
Woman: “I’m a light bulb.”
Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”

The man starts to follow her and the boss says: “Where are you going?”
The man says: “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

:P :mrgreen: :P

A man talking to God:

The man: “God, how long is a million years?”
God: “To me, it’s about a minute.”
The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God: “To me it’s a penny.”
The man: “God, may I have a penny?”
God: “Wait a minute.”

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”

The little girl replied, “My homework.”

:D :P :mrgreen:

The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

:P :mrgreen: :P

Teacher: “Why are you late, Joseph?”
Joseph: “Because of a sign down the road.”
Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with you being late?”
Joseph: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!'”

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

:P :mrgreen: :P

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” – said a boy to a girl.
“Well, do you know who I am?” – asked the girl.
“No.” – replied the boy.
“I’m the principal’s daughter.” – said the girl.
“And do you know who I am?” – asked the boy.
“No.” – she replied.
“Thank goodness!” – said the boy with a sign of relief.

:D

Teacher asked George: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
George replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”

:mrgreen:

Teacher: “Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?”
Student: “A heart attack.”

:P

Teacher: “This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.”
Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.”

:D

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”
Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”

:mrgreen:

Sylvia: “Dad, can you write in the dark?”
Dad: “I think so. What do you want me to write?”
Sylvia: “Your name on this report card.”

:P

Mother: “Why did you get such a low mark on that test?”
Junior: “Because of absence.”
Mother: “You mean you were absent on the day of the test?”
Junior: “No, but the kid who sits next to me was.”

:D

Teacher: “John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?”
John: “You told me to do it without using tables.”

:mrgreen:

Teacher: “Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.”
Winnie: “Me.”

:P

Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

Louie: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”

:D

*For more, checkout the 200+ comments below. There are many very funny ones!
**For more, checkout these very funny stories, added on: April 27, 2012.
***For more, checkout these really funny jokes, added on: Jan 01, 2013.

{ 385 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Puppy November 22, 2008 at 6:13 am

Good one!

2 Abhi February 1, 2009 at 4:29 am

Great site ……….full with education and fun!!!!!!!!!!!

3 Pooja February 14, 2009 at 4:59 am

IT WAS YAK !!!!!!!! THUU!!!!!!!!!! CHEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 Ebong Franklin April 7, 2009 at 9:49 am

As the boss I will always live the light bulb on for the co-worker to continue working, good for suppervisors.

5 Ms. Erika M. Calaranan May 18, 2009 at 6:36 am

VERY NICE!
I LOVE IT!

6 Divs May 31, 2009 at 6:16 am

Really very interesting!!! and funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 Peter Manser June 6, 2009 at 8:42 am

Q: What is the biggest room in the world?

A: The room for improvement!!

Q: Why do they say “An elephant never forgets!”?

A: Nobody ever asked him to remember anything!!

Q: What part of a car causes the most accidents?

A: The nut behind the wheel!!

Q: How can you tell when a politician is lying?

A: When his lips are moving!!

Q: Why did the computer cross the road?

A: It was programmed by a chicken!!

8 Shameir and babu June 19, 2009 at 4:06 am

It is funny and I enjoy reading these jokes.

9 SHAMEIR AND BABU June 19, 2009 at 4:09 am

HA!HA!HA!I LIKE THIS WEBSITE!

10 niTin October 12, 2009 at 8:02 am

Really Funny!!

11 Sanket November 17, 2009 at 2:01 am

It was superb…
I liked the most of man to god…

12 Hooreya November 27, 2009 at 4:32 am

HILARIOUS!
I loved the one with the student being late.
but don’t think im like that

13 Pawan January 3, 2010 at 3:40 am

Great!!!!

14 Sara January 19, 2010 at 11:58 am

These are litterly awesome, loveeeeee it. hahahha;) lol

15 Amrutha January 30, 2010 at 6:51 am

Lovely jokes!!!

16 Kimani February 1, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Q. Why did the surfer cross the road?
A. To catch the wave

17 Tina February 26, 2010 at 2:12 pm

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.

Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.

A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”

18 Vanessa Medrano March 14, 2010 at 3:43 am

;”) that’s so hilarious!

19 Ace of Spade March 19, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Soo funny….

Can anyone post a better joke…that really can make me laugh to dead…… hahahahahahahahaha….

20 Patrick April 1, 2010 at 8:43 am

I love your jokes because they are responsibly composed.

Thanks.

21 Riya April 23, 2010 at 10:00 am

Ah..now that’s funny.. :P

22 Yanira April 30, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Great jokes! Healthy Humor(:

23 Brant Driever May 1, 2010 at 8:17 pm

LOL Good one! :)

24 Khouloud Kleshko May 14, 2010 at 8:56 am

Very funny………. good work……. waiting for more.

25 Esha May 20, 2010 at 5:53 am

Very nice.

26 Floreby June 28, 2010 at 8:56 pm

I love them. Jokes are simple, nicely written and clean. Add more!

27 Madhur July 3, 2010 at 5:33 am

These jokes are so superb and interesting.

28 Chandini July 22, 2010 at 1:40 pm

It was great fun reading them.

29 Jefry Rejinold July 29, 2010 at 6:11 am

Really ha,ha,……

30 Rikki July 29, 2010 at 7:40 am

Loved the one with the Essay on the dog! Absolutely adorable! I’m still laughing!

31 Brittney August 27, 2010 at 11:14 pm

Loved the one where the man talks to God. That was the best one. Great thinking!!!

32 Nikunj October 5, 2010 at 8:11 am

Wonderful!!!

33 Jem October 6, 2010 at 4:01 am

Ahahahahahaha……I love it.

34 Ram October 8, 2010 at 1:02 am

It is so………..funny.

35 Pavan November 3, 2010 at 10:08 am

So funny

36 Ngocanh November 11, 2010 at 1:33 am

Very very nice….

37 Prachi November 29, 2010 at 5:12 am

What a great site! I lvd reading the jokes…

38 Paeng December 4, 2010 at 11:41 pm

Awesome……………… Congrats for that nice jokes….

39 Baxw6 December 6, 2010 at 10:49 am

Hahahahahhahahah it wasn’t funny :)

40 Bandonlang December 10, 2010 at 4:04 am

It is really funny indeed!!!

41 Aish December 13, 2010 at 1:40 am

Superb! but hard to understand….

42 Baxw6 December 26, 2010 at 1:26 pm

There was a little boy, his mother was pregnant.
He asked: What’s in your stomach mom?
Mother: Um.. It’s your brother.
Tomorrow, the teacher: Who has little brother or sister?
The little boy: I have a brother but my mother ate him.

43 Nihal mahanto January 2, 2011 at 7:10 am

Ha ha ha, I and my friend Sanjay enjoyed these jokes..thank you.

44 Fprince January 2, 2011 at 10:09 am

So funny lol I can’t stop laughing ^^

Baxw6, your joke is good too.

45 Esan January 30, 2011 at 11:32 am

Super jokes

46 Harini February 4, 2011 at 9:51 am

This is soo funny. It is very nice……..

47 Black February 8, 2011 at 9:55 pm

They were all good jokes!!!!!!!

48 Sachs February 20, 2011 at 5:23 am

Yippee!!!!!!!!

49 Zainal March 19, 2011 at 9:02 pm

The jokes have made my day… ha ha ha

50 Shabna March 20, 2011 at 9:31 am

It was great!!!! I loved it.

51 Kiki98526 March 22, 2011 at 3:39 am

It is a very gooood joke.♥ it.☻

52 Pushpa March 31, 2011 at 5:42 am

I enjoyed with these jokes, hope will get some more jokes for us.

53 Vivek April 4, 2011 at 8:52 pm

I also enjoyed with these jokes, it is a very gooood joke. ♥ it.☻

54 Vivek April 4, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Great site ……… full with education and fun!!!

55 chuni May 17, 2011 at 6:22 am

I love it………;-) everybody should check it out and enjoy it like I did……

56 Violet May 25, 2011 at 8:31 am

So cool man, all these JOKES!

57 N D Naik June 4, 2011 at 12:59 am

Very interesting

58 Rajesh June 20, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Nice jokes and I liked the story: the story of a blind girl. It is very touching…

59 Sravanthi June 22, 2011 at 1:24 am

Full entertainment :)

60 Maha June 25, 2011 at 8:26 am

I liked the jokes very much, it was fun reading them.

61 Ashna Sambhar July 1, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I am with Pooja…. it was nt good… :D

62 Ashna Sambhar July 2, 2011 at 5:15 am

When I was in nursery, someone stole my rough notebook. Now they call it “OxFORD DICTIONARY”.
Crazy fans!☻
NO claps plz!☻
I don’t like publicity! :D

63 Chiku July 8, 2011 at 4:04 am

Fantastic.

64 Jango July 16, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Cool jokes…

65 Alee July 21, 2011 at 3:11 am

it is soooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

66 Alee July 21, 2011 at 3:12 am

So nice.

67 Tamanna July 27, 2011 at 10:41 am

So funnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

68 Naresh August 2, 2011 at 6:57 am

Niceeee….love it…….

69 Amit Singh August 9, 2011 at 2:34 am

Really Great jokes I never ever read dis much good jokes

70 Bidyut Naskar August 27, 2011 at 7:24 am

It is very good, I laugh so much. Thanks.

71 Rajiv.singh September 5, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Good site. . . Liked it. . The jokes . . The stories. . . . Everything out here. Keep it up.

72 Tanshi September 6, 2011 at 10:26 am

Awsm jokes … the best one was that dummy principal one…

73 Raj September 14, 2011 at 5:40 am

A underworld don’s son came home from school after attending his exams.

Father: how was your exam?
Son: they had given me questions to answer within 3 hours, but I did not answer anything or opened my mouth.

74 Mohit September 15, 2011 at 5:09 am

Awsum…. keep posting new jokes.

75 Kc September 23, 2011 at 3:48 pm

It’s all funny but I love the most when the boy was late. More jokes pls :-)

76 Shashii September 27, 2011 at 1:56 am

Sometimes small things in real life hurt a lot. If you don’t believe me then try to sit on a small pin :D

77 Ninu September 28, 2011 at 12:43 am

It is fantastic…….!!!!!!!!!!!

78 Afra September 28, 2011 at 10:19 am

Nice jokeees

79 Akhi September 28, 2011 at 10:09 pm

It’s veery nice.

80 Shashii September 30, 2011 at 1:17 pm

A Gujju having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God. God became happy with his prayers, grants him only one wish.
Gujju: Dear God, I have only one wish, I only want my mother to see my wife putting 2 crore worth solitare bangles on my child’s hands in my mercedes benz car parked in our new penthouse’s compound situated next to the swimming pool at Beverly Hills.
God: Damn it ! I still have a lot to learn from these gujju’s..

81 Tundrasurfr October 16, 2011 at 11:26 pm

After telling a friend of mine a joke, she responded with a question mark. A few minutes later she again responded, “oh k, finally got it, I was a bit slow”. My response to her was, “next time, I’ll be sure to type a lil slower so you can understand it faster”.

82 Miss Dhie_23 October 20, 2011 at 1:42 am

I really like the site!!! Inspiring.. although I’ve read it already.. LIKE!!!! Yeah.. God bless..

83 Shashii October 26, 2011 at 3:53 am

Teeth said to tongue, “If I just press you little hard, you will get cut.”
Tongue replied, “If I misuse one word against someone, then all the 32 of you will come out at once”.

84 Hucen October 27, 2011 at 6:12 am

Really cool and interesting jokes. You can make anyone Laugh…

85 Really nice and funny October 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm

This is really good

86 Lana October 28, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Hahahah…laughing by myself at home hahahahah

87 Shashii November 1, 2011 at 1:39 am

Doctor : Have you ever fainted before ?
Patient : Yes, the last time you told me your fees…

88 Cuthbert November 4, 2011 at 5:45 pm

These jokes can make one die from laughter.

89 DEaTH BY JokES November 6, 2011 at 10:30 pm

LMAO… Please make more jokes!!!!

90 Soumiya November 11, 2011 at 8:52 am

Sooo funny. Keep on going.

91 Shashii November 19, 2011 at 8:49 am

This is not a joke but very interesting management lesson. Read on….

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was very cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realise how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out ! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing with joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cowdung and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management lesson –
(1) Not everyone who shits on you in your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you are in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut !

92 Lakis November 22, 2011 at 5:40 am

How could you taste me if you won’t undress me?

——-banana

93 Prachi November 27, 2011 at 1:23 am

Nice jokes

94 Dimple December 18, 2011 at 3:37 am

One day a husband asked his wife: are you fine…….?
This day was so hard working day isn’t it?
A girl— I am not your wife. I am your girlfriend and it was a good day because you took me to the shopping…….. :D

95 Namita December 20, 2011 at 4:13 am

1) A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

2) One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up
MOM: Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.
SON: But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.
MOM: Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.
SON: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.
MOM: Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.
SON: Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?
MOM: One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

96 Namita December 20, 2011 at 4:30 am

1) Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: ” Bombay … Bombay ”
Air hostess said: “B silent..”
Sardar: “Ok.. Ombay. Ombay”

2) Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?”
Sardar: “All are born on government holidays…!!!

3) Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

97 Amit December 30, 2011 at 4:38 am

Really great website and jokes by everyone.

Great to see people pool-in. A Happy New Year to all of you.

98 E.Meenakshi January 1, 2012 at 11:55 am

Good jokes – made me laugh heartily

99 Jayson January 6, 2012 at 8:00 am

Hahahahahaha….

I really can’t help laughing..
The Ombay…Ombay one is also funny..! Good job..!

100 Ashwini January 7, 2012 at 8:10 am

I love this site. I mean it is simply great to have things like these in a package… and the stories… they are awesome!!! Love you people :)

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