Funny Short Stories

by Stephen on April 27, 2012 · 621 comments

in Funny Jokes

The child and his mother:

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

:mrgreen:

Wrong email address:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

:mrgreen:

Will’s experience at the airport:

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

8-O
:mrgreen:

Clever kids:

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

:P :mrgreen:

Mouthology:

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

:D

Captain:

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.

The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.

The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”

:D

Elephant:

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

:mrgreen:

Do you know any short but very funny stories? Please share below :P

If you find this story useful, please share with a friend!

{ 621 comments… read them below or add one }

1. An Economist — April 28, 2012 at 12:28 am

Funny stories…thanks!!

2. Anonymous — April 30, 2012 at 3:58 am

hahaha funny stories.. :)

3. Tirupathi — April 30, 2012 at 9:04 am

It was very funny and I will share with everyone.

4. Rence — May 1, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Hahahaha great! Surely it’s funny… :P

5. Stephen — May 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

A funny story involving a cop and two ladies:

There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A state trooper pulled it over.

“What did I do wrong, officer?” the driver asked.

“You were going 26 MPH on a major highway, there is a law against that. You must go at least 50 MPH.”

“But when I got onto the highway, the sign said 26!”

“That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn’t the speed limit!”

The driver leaned back into her car seat and the cop saw another woman sitting beside her, she looked as pale as a ghost.

“What happened to her?’ the officer asked.

“I don’t know, but she has been that way ever since we got off the interstate 160.”

6. Stephen — May 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

A man carrying two huge suitcases to meet with a circus boss to apply for a job. The boss asked:

“What do you know?”

The man took out some big stones from one of the suitcases, threw the stones high in the air and used his head to catch the stones.

The boss nodded. Great. What is in the other suitcase?

“Painkiller!”

7. Stephen — May 3, 2012 at 10:35 am

How much does it cost to get married?

A little boy asked his father: “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

The father replied: “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

8. Stephen — May 3, 2012 at 12:16 pm

A college student is deeply in love with his classmate but he doesn’t know what to do to get the girl’s attention.

One day, he came to ask the girl for help with his assignments and the girl agreed.

Happily, he came to sit next to the girl the next day and took out a book pretending to read.

After a little while, the girl asked: “You must be a genius. How can you read a book upside down?”

9. Zillu — May 4, 2012 at 11:38 am

Awesome

10. Aryan — May 5, 2012 at 4:15 am

The officer thought that he was clever :) good story

11. Pratham — May 13, 2012 at 6:28 am

It was wonderful. Thanks

12. Pratham — May 13, 2012 at 6:33 am

HAHAHAHA! Thank you very much.

13. Klea — June 1, 2012 at 1:53 am

The teacher asks Jimmy:

Teacher: “Jimmy, why aren’t you writing?”
Jimmy: “I don’t has a pencil.”
Teacher: “Jimmy, that’s not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don’t have a pencil; he doesn’t have a pencil; we don’t have a pencil.”
Jimmy: “Who stole all the pencils then?”

:)

14. Mlungisi — June 2, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I like these stories, they keep me laughing and happy as i share

15. Havemore Nyambe — June 4, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Super jokes. They make my world go round. Keep this up always.

16. Hendra — June 4, 2012 at 11:46 pm

BIG LOL

17. Stephen — June 11, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Two young boys’ conversation:

Johnny: “What makes the baby at your house cry so much, Tommy?”
Tommy: “If all your teeth were out, your hair off, and your legs so week you couldn’t stand on them, I guess you’d feel like crying yourself.”

18. Stephen — June 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Teacher: “Let me hear how far you can count.”
Eugene: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king.”

19. Stephen — June 11, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you looking at Fred’s book, Tommy.”
Tommy: “I hope you didn’t, too, sir.”

20. Liliana — June 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Bobby practicing karate on a dummy (a life-size doll):

Bobby: “Let’s begin!” shouted Bobby “HA”
Bobby: Ow Ow Ow I kicked the wall instead!
Dummy: “Who’s the dummy now!”
:D :D :D :D :D

21. Lulunatic — June 13, 2012 at 7:54 am

3 men died and went up to heaven. The guy at the gate said “The better you were to your wife, the better kind of car you’ll get.”

The first guy was very loyal to his wife and got a Ferrari. The second man fought with his wife so he got a broken down car. The last guy cheated on his wife dozens of times so he got a scooter.

One day the guy on the scooter saw the guy in the Ferrari crying. He asked him, “Why are you crying?”

He answered, “I just saw my wife on roller skates.”

22. Ally rose — June 19, 2012 at 11:26 am

I loved the wrong email one. I think it was the best but I also liked the first :)

23. Buffon — June 20, 2012 at 5:38 am

At night, a thief came in and stole a madman’s tv and dvd. On geting out of d house, d madman wakeup and chase d thief.

Afta 2 hrs race, d thief gave up, he start pleading but d madman replied ~Dont worry, i wanted to give you d remotes~

24. Buffon — June 20, 2012 at 5:50 am

A drunkard stammers out of a bar and ran into 2 priests. He ran up to dem and says, ~ I’m Jesus Christ~. The priests reply ~No son, you are not.~

The drunk says, ~Look, i can prove it~ and walk back into d bar with d priests. The bartender takes a look at d drunk and exclaim, ~Jesuse Christ, you are here again?~

25. Antara — June 21, 2012 at 7:01 am

Cool website. Keep up the good work.

26. Saul Samson — June 23, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Wow, am sick but you are making me happy.

27. Lois Caminade — June 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I like the drunk guy and priest one and the teacher and Jimmy but I like the clever kids story the best :P

28. Ken wa Nyabuto — June 25, 2012 at 4:35 am

Woh!!..the funny stories are xo hilarious. Keep up & thanks.

29. Sexyjane — June 26, 2012 at 3:30 am

So funny

30. Nhiebu tsürho — June 28, 2012 at 7:01 am

Realy lyk it….:)

31. Aakriti — June 28, 2012 at 8:38 am

Very humourous! Thnx a BUNCH!!!

32. Tujebway — July 4, 2012 at 10:17 am

I like the Jimmy and Tommy’s, and the wife on trip. Ha ha haaa!.

33. Pradnya Oberoi — July 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Very nice

34. LalaLucy — July 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Mia, Cathy, Edward, David and John all decided to go for a walk in the jungle one day. Upon their stroll, they came across a pit of quick sand. It was way too long to jump over, and much too wide to go around. It had already taken them an hour to get this far, and none of them wanted to turn back.

“What are we going to do?” asked Cathy.

Just as she finished her sentene, a genie appeared.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “You can all walk across the quick sand without sinking, as long as you’re not gay.”

So, first Mia went across, and she didn’t sink. Then Edward walked across, and he didn’t sink. Then Cathy walked across, and she didn’t sink. The three of them then looked back to find John’s neck deep in the quick sand.

“John, you’re gay?” asked Mia.

“No,” he stated “David is holding onto my pants!”

35. Ayman — July 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

There was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.

Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.”

Husband: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.”

Wife responded loudly: “That is why I’m crying.”

36. Ljeoma — July 26, 2012 at 6:41 am

Nice one there

37. Almansor — July 27, 2012 at 3:31 am

Great… keep up the good work.

38. Babi — July 29, 2012 at 4:53 am

haha funny… good

39. Tripulee — August 3, 2012 at 1:31 am

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they met a sign that said: Disneyland left. So they started crying and went back home.

40. Shaqe — August 3, 2012 at 4:16 am

Hahaha………so funny stories tnx

41. Aakira — August 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Super like

42. Vicky — August 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

It is very nice and funny…

43. Seth Tha Bom — August 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Funny much.

44. Shiqran — August 10, 2012 at 1:24 am

I enjoyed this website very much.

45. Salinda from sri lanka — August 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Here are my favorites:

There was a couple…the lady was very talkative and she kept talking with people on the phone hour after hour when she is alone at home.

End of everymonth they used to get a massive telephone bill and the husband was so worried on this.

One day they were dining at the table and the phone rang..

The lady’s reaction was immediate…she ran to the phone and started chatting..

After about 30-min she hang up and came back to the table.

The husband was happy that she hang up in 30 min which was a good sign where she normally doesn’t hung up at least for 2-hours. So he happily inquired…was she busy to hang up so early???

No..it was a wrong number.. replied the lady..

46. Hashinda — August 14, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Thanx, it’s beautiful and funny.

47. Robinson — August 15, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I just love all the jokes here… but so in love with the mad man joke.

48. Nobody — August 21, 2012 at 6:39 am

Love these short stories! I have a teenage daughter and she’s always browsing the web for something to get her entetained, seeing as she came out of a relationship. I’m glad that I will tell her about this!

49. Zubu — August 26, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Wow really funny, I like them thanks!

50. Miriam (mimi) — August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

These are so so funny, I just can’t stop laughing.

Thanks to all who participated to came up with this.

51. Angel Tiara — August 28, 2012 at 3:16 am

Guys I fell off my bed laughing.

52. Aha — August 31, 2012 at 6:07 am

All were very cool.

53. NILO — September 5, 2012 at 6:27 am

FUNNY

54. LOL — September 10, 2012 at 2:41 am

Alien invasion.

Tom: OMG. the staffroom has been invaded by these horrendoou creatures.
Megan: You mean more horrendous than the last bunch?
Tom: Yes-these carry detention slips.
Megan: Mo wonder.

55. AAHA — September 10, 2012 at 3:41 am

Wow lol, it is a very funny, great website. Keep up the good work!!

56. Real Man — September 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

Want to hear a joke? Women’s Rights!

Did you hear about the woman who got hit by a car? My question is, how did the car get into the kitchen?

How do you fix a woman’s watch? You don’t, there’s a clock on the stove!

Why are women’s feet smaller than a man’s? So they can stand closer to the sink!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead!

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile!

57. PRIYA — September 12, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I just love these jokes.

58. Kenzy — September 12, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Cool jokes, keep up the creative work.

59. Ka Vyrux — September 14, 2012 at 2:10 am

Indeed they are funny.

60. Agawine — September 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Nice, very nice. I like funny stories. I like the madman and wrong email and also the 1st one. Thx.

61. Anupa — September 18, 2012 at 2:48 am

Once a dumb man had to buy a hammer. He went to the shop and asked for the hammer by hitting on a table with his fist.

Now a blind man had to buy a scissor. Think how will he get it from the shopkeeper?

No guesses!

If so remember that the blind man can speak :D

62. Thimira — September 21, 2012 at 4:19 am

Nice work…..very funny……will submit more in the future…

63. Thimira — September 21, 2012 at 4:38 am

One husand came home drunk in the night. He needed use the toilet as soon as he got to the house. Then he did it and went to sleep.

Next day he woke up and went to his wife…

Husband: Darling, yesterday I felt something different when I was using the toilet. The door of the toilet has to be pulled. And also there was an autumatic light when I opened the door…

His wife thought for a while and went to check…

Wife: OMG…next time please check whether you are going to use the toilet or the refrigerator…
:) :) :D

64. Rajkumar Singh — September 23, 2012 at 4:01 am

So nice funny stories, it makes to forget all the sadness. Thanks a lot.

65. Matt — September 24, 2012 at 11:22 am

lol these are so funny. The leading hand santiser can kill up to 99.9 % or germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of what ever he wants lol

66. Ols — September 25, 2012 at 7:04 am

Two bold headed guys were fighting over one comb :-)

67. Kanishka — September 28, 2012 at 12:30 pm

An 80-year old man walks into the doctor’s office for his regular check-up.

The doctor says to him, “Ahh, Ted, how are you feeling?”

“Great,” says the old man. “I have an 18-year old wife, and she’s pregnant with my child.”

The doctor gives a concerned look and says to Ted, “Ted, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and one early morning, he goes out hunting, but is in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots a
lion. He aims at the lion with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam! The lion falls dead to the ground.”

“What?!” cries the old man. “Why? that’s impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion.”

“Exactly!” says the doctor.

68. Dotty — October 1, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Nice change of pace. I was just drifting around not really doing anything, that was fun. thank- you!!!

69. Love_Babe_sumsum — October 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

WHO FARTED?

There were three men: one called German, another called France and the last called Bellman. The 3 have a competition on who could stay the longest in a pig farm.

German went in first and after two minutes, he came out saying the pig farted, the pig farted.

France came in and after 10 mins, he came out shouting the same thing.

Bellman went in and after 20 mins, the pigs ran out saying Bellman farted, Bellman farted…

Enjoy :mrgreen:

70. Ronald — October 3, 2012 at 2:35 am

These jokes cool off stress.

71. Thimira — October 4, 2012 at 4:48 am

Yep…very cool ….

72. Evo — October 5, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

73. Stephen — October 5, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Man at restaurant: Excuse me waiter, could you come here?
Waiter: Is everything okay?
Man: Everything is fine, but would you please try my soup?
Waiter: I’m sorry, sir, we really can’t do that.
Man: No I won’t say anything, please try my soup.
Waiter: Well, is there something wrong with the soup?
Man: No, but will you please try the soup?!
Waiter: Okay, okay… Where’s the spoon?
Man: Ah-hah.

74. Thang hoang van — October 6, 2012 at 6:38 am

These are really great jokes stories, and I think the “man at restaurant” is the best.

75. Thang hoang van — October 7, 2012 at 1:03 am

There a couple live in an apartment, they have married for many years, but they still live without children, the husband does not know how to make a child, so he decided to get some advises from the man living next the door.

The man was very happy to help and said: first, you should buy her some perfume, some shampoo, and take my telephone number.

The husband asked: “And then?”

“Tell her take a bath, then take some perfume”
“And then”
“You should go out, and call me by your phone.”
“And then”
“I’ll come to your home and help you make a child.”
:mrgreen:

76. Tibebe solomon — October 9, 2012 at 9:18 am

Thanks, you made me feel over the moon. Keep up the good job.

77. Master — October 9, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Joker joining the Army:

Officer: We need you in the army.
Joker: I’ll join but on three conditions.
Officer: Ok. what are the conditions?
Joker: My first condition is that I’ll not wear the uniform because it is hot.
Officer: Ok. What is the second condition?
Joker: I’ll not do the perade and other training under the sun because it is hot. I’ll only do it under the shed or some kind of shadow cover.
Officer: Ok. What is your third condition?
Joker: And my last and most important condition is that during war times, I’ll remain on leave.
:)

78. Simran — October 9, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Hahaha! Very funny, got me laughing all day. Thanks.

79. Gemunu — October 10, 2012 at 1:53 am

These are the most funny stories I have ever seen so thank you very much for keeping me enjoyable.

80. Ralph Jude (Nigeria) — October 11, 2012 at 11:15 am

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology. :mrgreen:

81. Bazie — October 15, 2012 at 11:15 am

I love this site.

82. Chance — October 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Why it sucks to be an egg:

1. You only get laid once
2. You only get eaten once
3. You share a box with 11 other guys
4. But worst of all the only chick that ever sat on you was your mother :mrgreen:

83. Miss Danielle — October 15, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I love all the stories!

84. Tarun — October 16, 2012 at 2:26 am

Superb jokes

85. Frescilakilu — October 16, 2012 at 3:03 am

Very impressing!

86. Anju — October 16, 2012 at 5:20 am

Really funny :)

Hahahaha……..

87. Adie of Sabah — October 17, 2012 at 1:01 am

Hahaha and hahahaha… damnnn funny.

88. Mahesh — October 17, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Very, very good jokes.

89. Teresa Chlorine — October 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm

A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies, I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page: “U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH”

….and THAT pretty much sums up the media’s approach to the news these days…

90. Qweerrty — October 19, 2012 at 3:59 am

Super! These jokes are very good.

91. Okoth Allan — October 20, 2012 at 10:10 am

Sooo nice for one who may feel out of place.

92. SWAMI — October 20, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Sailor and professor- awesome!

93. Evans G Nzambu — October 22, 2012 at 8:23 am

Fabulous jokes, am greatly amused.

94. Jam — October 22, 2012 at 9:24 am

I loved the jokes- The child and his mother, #7, 17, 39, 61, 67.

They are really great, keep it up!

95. Apeluisa — October 22, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Thanks a lot. Cheer my day. I am sick and these helped.

96. The Monkey — October 23, 2012 at 7:39 am

A drunk man fell in a well and people came to save him… but no one could enter the well to bring him out. Later, one man came up with an idea to throw the drunk man a rope to try to pull him out.

When the rope hit the drunk man’s head, he angrily shouted: “Pick your own well man, I am bathing.”
:mrgreen:

97. Aleena — October 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Girl: Don’t follow me, I already have a boyfriend…
Boy: If the goal keeper is there won’t we try a goal???
“Think Positive” :P

My friend messaged me this :D

98. Stephen — October 23, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Once upon a time, a boy loved a girl and proposed but the girl said “no”.

and…
and…..
and……..

the boy lived happily after :mrgreen:

99. Ladylibra Sinulingga — October 25, 2012 at 9:52 am

Sooo funny!

I love that assology crocodilogy story.

Still laughing for bout 20 mnts now :D

100. Shailendra — October 27, 2012 at 7:37 am

Really funny!

101. Anush ram — October 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Once a boy expressed his love to a girl and the girl replied: “If I remove my slipper your face will enlarge.”

The boy cooly replied: “If I remove my pant zip, your stomach will enlarge.”
:-)

102. Rachit Diwan — October 29, 2012 at 5:56 am

These are really good stories.

103. Hovagim — October 29, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Once there were three boys who went to the park, their names were: Shut Up, Manners and Trouble. Trouble got lost so Shut Up told Manners to wait while he went to ask the police for help.

The police asked, “What is your name?” He said Shut Up, then the police yelled, “What is your name?”

He said Shut Up, then the police asked where are your manners? The boy said out in the park. Then the police asked, “Are you looking for trouble?” Then the boy said, “Yes, how did you know?” :D

104. Gantsetseg — October 29, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Really funny stories :D

105. Püshu Lam — October 30, 2012 at 12:38 am

Had a great time laughing..!:D

106. Ali Bukhari — October 30, 2012 at 11:35 pm

An inbound sales officer was working at his terminal in a large office building with floor-to-ceiling windows. As a funeral procession passed on the street below, he stood at attention and bowed his head.

A passing colleague noticed the officer’s actions and said to another, “What a kind, thoughtful thing to do!”

“I don’t know,” said the other. “It’s actually the least he could have done.”

“What do you mean?”

“They would have been married twenty years next month.”

107. Afifa Noor — October 31, 2012 at 9:22 am

It was very fun to read them but some of them I did not understand, but laughed, they were all very funny.

108. Anna — November 1, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Yay

109. Dechen — November 3, 2012 at 12:30 am

I likelogy funnylogy storylogy… It makelogy melogy releasilogy my tenslogy..ewww…

110. Nelson Aman — November 3, 2012 at 4:01 am

The teacher asked his students to draw a ring and as expected, all drew objects with circular shape. However, one little boy drew a square.

“Why did you draw a square?” The teacher asked.

“Mine is a Boxing Ring, sir.” The boy replied. :D

111. Leah — November 4, 2012 at 11:39 am

LOL these are sooo funny, keep up the funny jokes.

112. Manya — November 5, 2012 at 5:02 am

Ha … Ha … Ha …
It was very funny….
Thanks…

113. Vulture — November 6, 2012 at 12:06 am

So nice funny stories. Enjoyed a lot. More please.

114. The Monkey — November 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Once upon a time, a man from America, a man from Nigeria and a man from China were involved in an argument.

Chinese man: My country is the most improved country in the world. The day you conduct election, the next day you will know the winner.

American man: It is a lie, it is a lie! My country, the day you conduct election, that day you know the winner.

Nigerian man: As far as I am concerned, you are all joking. In my country, before the actual election, we know the winner!!!

115. Hubba Bubba — November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

One day, a girl named Suzie was listening to a song on her Ipod, when another girl named Malissa overheard her.

Malissa: *sneers* “That song is so old!”

Suzie: *laughs* “Yeah, well so is your mom and you still listen to her!”

116. Naomibhf — November 8, 2012 at 4:50 am

OMG. I have heavy depreassion and have not laughed in months. Now I can’t stop laughing.

117. Richi rajesh — November 8, 2012 at 5:25 am

Now I am student of jadavpur…..

118. Neha — November 9, 2012 at 7:57 am

Awesome jokes, I just loved them.

119. Nevra Oma Cara — November 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Loved all these funny stories and jokes!!! They made me laugh till I fell off the bed. Keep it up guys!!!

120. Dark Justice — November 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

The teacher asked, “What is the chemical formula for water?”

A student raises his hand and answers, “HIJKLMNO”!!

The teacher, puzzled, asks, “What on earth are you talking about?”

Student answers, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”

121. Stephen — November 9, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?

Little Johnny: It’s H2O.

Teacher: Good! Can you tell me the chemical formula for ice?

Little Johnny: It’s H2O cubed.

122. Stephen — November 9, 2012 at 6:11 pm

A chemistry professor wanted to teach the 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

“Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, as happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…

“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

123. Kgotso maBuela — November 11, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Hey you, laughed the h*ll out of me. I gotta say well played. I like this Blog.

124. Dionne Carlo Camosa (Philippines) — November 11, 2012 at 7:03 pm

LOL! This is such a nice blog! LOL!! I sent some jokes to my teammates and they were laughing out loud…. gotta share this blog!

125. Irfu — November 12, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Once a Japanese came to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a taxi and asked the driver to take him to the airport.

On the way, a Toyota car passed them very fast, the Japanese yelled “Toyota” made in Japan very fast. Then the Mitsubishi passed, the Japanese again yelled “Mitsubishi” made in Japan very fast. On the 3rd time, he yelled again when he saw another Japanese car.

The taxi driver got angry but he didn’t say anything.

When they reached the airport, the taxi driver asked a charge of 800 rupees. The Japanese exclaimed: “What! That is too much.”

The Indian driver yelled back loudly: Meter, made in India, very, very fast!

126. Yohana — November 12, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Very interesting stories, I like them.

127. LaMatt — November 12, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”

The next morning when his wife woke up she looked out the window to find a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since. :mrgreen:

128. Irfu — November 13, 2012 at 2:47 am

Once a sardar was passing nearby a village. He looked something on the road, he went near that thing, picked it up, smelled and very angrily he cried, “Idiot, who the hell is this did potty on the road which looks like burger!”

129. Irfu — November 13, 2012 at 3:16 am

Once I was travelling in a taxi, the taxi driver said: “I am very happy with this job. I am my own boss and nobody can order me what to do.”

Then I said: “Take left.” :D

130. Irfu — November 13, 2012 at 3:59 am

Santa: I need poison.
Chemist: I can’t sell until you have prescription.
Santa showed him his wedding card.
Chemist: Enough, will u make me cry? Which one shall I give. Big bottle or small one?

131. Irfu — November 13, 2012 at 5:23 am

Wife to husband: Darling, doctor suggested me to go to Switzerland or Paris for relaxation, where shall we go?

Husband: Other doctor!

132. Stephen — November 13, 2012 at 5:56 pm

A: Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

133. Stephen — November 13, 2012 at 5:57 pm

A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great! I never could before!

134. The Giant — November 14, 2012 at 12:46 am

Nice Stories!

135. Senorita — November 14, 2012 at 1:03 am

Nice jokes, enlightened my mood.

136. Ntaganda Alfred — November 14, 2012 at 9:41 am

These stories are very important to people mostly in my country where most people were not able to laugh as they used to before genocide happened in Rwanda.

I surely enjoyed these stories cause they let me forget the trouble of life we live in here. Thanks a lot for your ideas of bringing this to ease us sometimes.

137. LOL — November 14, 2012 at 10:44 am

Awesome!!!!!!! Love this blog!!!

A college proffessor comes up to a religious student and asks him: Can you feel God with any of your five senses?

Student replies: No…

Professor: Then He is not there!

Student replies: Can anyone feel your brain?

138. Nathan k Serem — November 15, 2012 at 10:38 am

It’s funny I lyk it.

139. Anonymous — November 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.

The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.

The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!” :D

140. KATEY AND LOGAN — November 16, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Once we sat in a classroom full of kids OMG

141. Saad kayani — November 17, 2012 at 11:39 am

Doctor: How did your car accident happen?
Patient: I was turning…
Doctor: So a car came in your way!?
Patient: No, actually there was no road turn….

142. Great Indian Jokes — November 18, 2012 at 7:25 am

Historians from US, UK and India were trying to boost how developed their ancient civilization used to be.

UK historians: We dug and found out copper cable led all along major ancient cities, this concludes we were using telephones since long back.

US historians: That’s it!! Dude, we dug and found out optical fiber. We were much more advanced in telecommunication since long back.

Indian historians: Pity on you people, actually we dug and dug deep, but found nothing. This of course concludes we were using wireless communication since that era. :mrgreen:

143. Reethika — November 18, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Very, very nice.

144. Manmath — November 19, 2012 at 3:26 am

Great mind refresher

145. Gangstaking54 — November 21, 2012 at 11:52 am

Very funny especially the one about the boys in the park, I was laughing a storm to that one & no I did not make hurricane Sandy as a result, it was mother nature, blame her with her green teeth.

146. Adams Kano — November 22, 2012 at 12:56 am

Thanks for all the great funny stories, I like them all.

147. Ddawn — November 22, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Mothers Worst Nightmare

Dear mum,

I am writing you this note to say that I haven’t been honest to you lately.

I have a boyfriend, his name is Dragon and he lives in a trailer in the woods he wears biker clothes and deals Ecstasy.

I am moving in with him and I am four months pregnant.

His friends will come over all the time so I can get a little frisky with them.

We will make a living out of growing drugs and selling them to Dragons friends as are both already drug addicts, we will live a life of drugs and beer.

Wish us luck
Katie

P.S.
I am at the neighbors house, all of the above was a lie I just wanted to let you know there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the top drawer.

148. Joseph — November 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm

One day as I was at a Chinese shop, there came a student who was on her vacation.

“Excuse me sir, do you have any vacancy?” asked the girl.

The Chinese man while looking at the things he was selling, said: “Ah madam, vacancy no have, only have vacuum.”

149. Rifat — November 22, 2012 at 9:27 pm

A man was riding on a helicopter. He told his assistant to throw something off. He threw a ball. He saw a kid crying he asked the kid why you crying he said a ball hit me.

He went on the helicopter again the boss told him to throw something off he threw a pinapple he saw a kid crying he asked the kid why you crying he said a pinapple hit my cat.

Then he got back up and the boss told him to throw something he threw a bomb!! He saw a kid laughing he asked the kid why you laughing he said my grandma farted so badly she blew up the house!!!

(*grandma farted at the same time the bomb hit the house*)

150. Ernest — November 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

A guy asked a girl to plug him mango on a tree, the girl did as the boy asked… When the girl got home she told her mom about it…Mom I climed a mango tree and pluged one for a guy.

The mother said, “I hope he didn’t see your panties.”

The girl replied, “No mum I was clever I took the panties off before climbing.” :)

151. Samuel Daniel — November 23, 2012 at 5:41 pm

This is GREAT and AWESOME! I shared some immediately. That Professor and Sailor story set me laughing for hours. Thanks.

152. Ericoni — November 24, 2012 at 8:09 am

Enjoyed your stories. Can’t stop lmao.

153. Baha Obma — November 24, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I am so like, wow, never have I been so fascinated. I like the zoology swimology one… Keep the fire blazing.

154. Ash — November 25, 2012 at 1:40 am

Mind refreshing !! We guys should add more masala (spice) to it. Wonderful!

155. Millie — November 25, 2012 at 10:41 am

Thanks! Really funny! :)

156. Satti — November 26, 2012 at 2:15 am

So funny……

157. Anonymous — November 26, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Nice ones. I liked the sailor and the professor one.

158. Sree — November 27, 2012 at 6:34 am

Superb jokes…….!!!!!
;)

159. Alova — November 27, 2012 at 8:23 am

It’s so good. These stories are fun!

160. Princess — November 28, 2012 at 9:12 am

Your jokes where superb…

161. Shreya — November 28, 2012 at 9:27 am

I love these stories because they give us some meanings.

I am in class 6. I love these stories. I am from Nepal. I love my country. There are many moral stories in Nepali.

162. Onyii — November 28, 2012 at 10:54 am

Woooooow can’t stop laughing, they are awesome.

163. Lerato — November 29, 2012 at 5:05 am

Awesome stories, keep me out of breath!

164. Myk — November 30, 2012 at 8:59 am

Wow nice story

165. Kader — November 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I can’t stop laughting!!! Specialy The professor and the sailor’s story. Come on guys add more.

166. Chity — December 1, 2012 at 7:58 am

Cock: I love you.
Hen: Laughs, ha ha
Cock: I can do anything for you.
Hen: Really…?
Cock: Yes, really. Tell me what shall I do for you?
Hen: Give me eggs…..!!!!!! :D

167. Hasitha CJ — December 4, 2012 at 3:49 am

Wow superb. Maxa jorks. Thanks every1 who present these storys. I enjoyed very well.

168. Shradha — December 4, 2012 at 9:48 am

Hahaha !! :) :) :)

Love everything …

Everything is awesome.

169. Kally Achumi — December 4, 2012 at 11:33 am

I really laugh out loud lol… specially like that clever kidz story.

170. Pooja — December 5, 2012 at 8:47 am

Wow I love all the stories, very funny.

171. Charly — December 5, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Blonde Jokes

Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day?
A: Lend her your bottle of shampoo that says “lather‚ rinse‚ repeat”.

172. Irfu — December 7, 2012 at 5:37 am

Grapes: I look like eye ball.
Watermelon: Hmm, I look like man’s head.
Orange: Uh, I look like b**bs.
Banana: Can we please change the topic!?

173. Stephen — December 7, 2012 at 11:58 am

One day a woman was waiting for a bus. It comes and she walks in and the bus driver says “Wow, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen!”

So the women sits down and she says to the man next to her “The bus driver just insulted me!”

The man says “You go talk to him, just go, l’ll hold your monkey for you”.

174. Roxygirl123 — December 8, 2012 at 11:27 pm

One day, 4 people were on a small aeroplane, a captain, a priest, a boy scout, and a smartest man in the world.

They were all eating a nice meal until the pilot came out and said, “This plane is about to crash. Grab a parachute and jump!”

The pilot then grabbed a parachute and jumped off. The smartest man in the world said, “I need that parachute, the world needs my knowledge” and so he jumped off.

The priest said, “Boy you take that last parachute, the world doesn’t need me, I am just an old priest.”
The boy scout said, “No, what are you talking about? There are 2 parachutes left.”

“What?” – the priest.

“It is correct, the smartest man in the world took my backpack.” – responded the boy scout. :mrgreen:

175. Andrew — December 9, 2012 at 3:49 am

It’s really interesting, especially the illiteracy, dieology story.. laughed the stress outta me.

176. Justine ( Philippines ) — December 11, 2012 at 10:55 am

LOL very nice.. I really liked the last joke.. Haha

177. Boru wario — December 11, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I am from Ethiopia I like it, so funny story!

178. TJ — December 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Nice jokes

179. Mackenzie — December 12, 2012 at 2:31 am

There were a cowboy, an Indian and a stupid guy. They all went to this cliff that says if you jump off it and say something you will become it.

So the Indian jumped off and said fish! and he turned into a fish and fell into the lake below.

This cowboy jumped off and said eagle! and he turned into a eagle and flew away.

The stupid guy was about to jump but tripped and said, “CRAP!”

180. KFC — December 12, 2012 at 3:49 am

Three construction workers were eating lunch on construction beams some stories high. One was Mexican, another was Italian, and the last was American. Each was upset about the same lunch they always got: the Mexican – tacos, the Italian – spaghetti, and the American – sandwiches.

So, the Mexican said, “If I get tacos for lunch one more time, I will jump.”
The Italian then said, “If I get spaghetti for lunch one more time, I’m gonna jump.”
The American then said, “If I get a sandwich for lunch one more time, I’ll jump.”

The next day, the Mexican got tacos, the Italian got spaghetti, and the American got a sandwich, so all three jumped from the building. At their funerals, the three wives were seen attending:

The Mexican’s wife sobbed, “If I had known he didn’t want tacos for lunch I wouldn’t have packed him any!”
The Italian’s wife cried, “If I had known he didn’t want spaghetti for lunch I wouldn’t have made it for him!”
The American’s wife said, “Don’t look at me, he packed his own lunch!”

181. Raj — December 12, 2012 at 6:55 am

Very nice comic stories and I wish to say thanks.

182. Aparna — December 12, 2012 at 7:32 am

It was so funny

183. Demibillo — December 12, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Haha really funny jokes guys. Listen to this!

17 blondes lined up outside a nightclub and a guy with his girlfriend asked one of the blondes: “Why are you standing out here?”

A blonde replied, “You have to be 18 to get in.”

haha :P

184. Anupriya — December 14, 2012 at 6:11 am

If animals have Facebook / BBM / WhatsApp, these are most likely to be their Status Updates:

Cockroach: “Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!”

Dog: “My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her? I don’t even remember…”

Mosquito: “I am HIV positive.. this is all due to wrong sucking.”

Pig: “Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu… WTF!! ”

Goat: “Friends, don’t go out, Eid is coming soon.”

Chicken: “If tomorrow there’s no status update from my side, means I’m being served at KFC.”

185. Anupriya — December 14, 2012 at 6:13 am

The Importance of the BRA:

Q: Which is the striped BRA?
zeBRA
Q: Poisonous BRA?
coBRA
Q: Mathematical BRA?
algeBRA
Q: Sunsign BRA?
liBRA
Q: Magical BRA?
aaBRA ka daBRA
Q: Religious BRA?
BRAhmin
Q: Metallic bra?
BRAss
Q: Anjelina Jolie’s Bra?
BRAd Pitt
Q: Botany BRA?
BRAnch
Q: Marketing BRA?
BRAnd
Q: Puctuation bra?
BRAcket
Q: A room where BRA’s are kept?
LiBRAry
Q: Bra which became the American President and inspired the whole world?
aBRAham Lincoln
Q: Which bra is very important for any vehicle?
BRAke

AND U THOUGHT ONLY WOMEN USE BRA, How BRAin less.

186. Anupriya — December 14, 2012 at 6:14 am

Height of Surprise:

A boy after spending great time with GF, saw a guy’s photo in her bag
Asked: Is he your x-boyfriend?
.
.
.
GF kissed him said no dear thats me before surgery..

187. Jummy — December 15, 2012 at 5:02 am

Loved this.

188. Leela — December 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Interesting stories. haha….

189. Ayua — December 17, 2012 at 4:58 am

Awesome source of laughter…

It’s fun being part of your decades!

190. Philo — December 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

hahahahah you guys are funny, thanx.

191. Chukky — December 17, 2012 at 11:49 am

I can’t help myself…I really need help to stop laughing..hahahahha..can someone come to my aid. This site is something else.

192. Viper — December 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

A guy walked in a restaurant for breakfast and he sat on a chair and in front of him a nice round table. A waiter came to him in seconds.

Waiter: Good morning sir what can I get for you?

Guy: Good morning to you too and how much is a cup of tea?

Waiter: 1 dollar and 50 cents.

Guy: And sugar?

Waiter: We do not sell Sugar it’s free.

Guy: Good. Bring 1 cup of tea and 2 Kilograms of sugar.

193. Viper — December 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Father: My son I will have a nap, wake me up at 4 pm.

Son: Father I am going to play football so if I forget to wake you up please come and remind me.

194. Viper — December 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

An elderly couple was watching a show where a preacher was talking about the healing powers of God.

“To all of those who are ailed by some sickness, place your hand on the screen & I will heal you!” the preacher exclaimed.

The old lady, who was having some stomach problems, placed her hand on the top of the TV.

The old man placed his hand on the TV also, then stuck his hand deep into his pants. His wife looks over at him and says, “Gordon, the preacher is talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead!”

195. Viper — December 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.

“Oh My God – Hurry! Grab your clothes,” – she yelled to her lover. “And jump out the window. My husband’s home early!”

“I can’t jump out the window!” – came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets. “It’s raining out there!”

“If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!” – she replied. “He’s got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems!”

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon. He started running along beside the others about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to “blend in” as best he could.

It wasn’t that effective! After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
“Do you always run in the nude?” one asked.

“Oh yes” he replied, gasping in air. “It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you’re running.”

Another runner moved alongside. “Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?”

“Oh, yes” our friend answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”

“Only if it’s raining.”

196. Fluffman — December 18, 2012 at 11:03 pm

There were an American, a Brittan, a French, and a Mexican. The pilot comes out and yells, “The plane is going down, we got too much wieght!” and grabs the only parachute and jumps out the door.

The French man yells, “Viva la France!” and jumps.

The Brit yells, “Long live the queen!” and jumps.

The American shoves the Mexican out and yells, “Remeber the alamo!”

197. Fluffman — December 18, 2012 at 11:06 pm

There was a Canadian, an American and a Mexican riding in a taxi.

The Canadian says, “We have too many leaves in my country.” – and throws out a maple leaf.

The Mexican said, “We have too much sand in my country.” – and throws sand out the window.

Inspired, the American throws the Mexican out the window.

198. Elizabeth — December 21, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Love all, especially the one with a professor and a student. By the way, blonds are not stupid!!!

199. Lily — December 23, 2012 at 12:14 am

An old man had a pond in the back of his yard. Near the pond was a tree full of fruit. One day, the man decided to go to his yard to pick fruit.

He forgot to bring a bucket so he went back inside to take it. When he went back to his yard, he discovered several ladies skinny dipping in the pond.

The ladies screamed to the old man, “We are not coming out until you leave!”

The old man held up the bucket and yelled back, “Don’t worry, I am just here to feed the alligators in the pond.”

200. CupCake — December 25, 2012 at 8:27 am

There was a guy waiting for a waiter in a restaurant. He waited for 2 hours, no waiter came, and finally a hot girl waiter is standing near the cashier…

Guy: Ummm… excuse, is there any waiter here? Cause no waiter is taking my order…
Girl: Owww… I thought you are the waiter?
Guy: What no, I’m a customer…
Girl: This is what I meant, you waited right, so that means you are a waiter… :)
Guy: What…?!

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