Funny Short Stories

by Stephen on April 27, 2012 · 916 comments

in Funny Jokes

The child and his mother:

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

:mrgreen:

Wrong email address:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

:mrgreen:

Will’s experience at the airport:

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

8-O
:mrgreen:

Clever kids:

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

:P :mrgreen:

Mouthology:

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

:D

Captain:

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.

The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.

The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”

:D

Elephant:

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

:mrgreen:

Do you know any short but very funny stories? Please share below :P

If you find this story useful, please share with a friend!

{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }

1 An Economist April 28, 2012 at 12:28 am

Funny stories…thanks!!

2 Anonymous April 30, 2012 at 3:58 am

hahaha funny stories.. :)

3 Tirupathi April 30, 2012 at 9:04 am

It was very funny and I will share with everyone.

4 Rence May 1, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Hahahaha great! Surely it’s funny… :P

5 Stephen May 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

A funny story involving a cop and two ladies:

There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A state trooper pulled it over.

“What did I do wrong, officer?” the driver asked.

“You were going 26 MPH on a major highway, there is a law against that. You must go at least 50 MPH.”

“But when I got onto the highway, the sign said 26!”

“That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn’t the speed limit!”

The driver leaned back into her car seat and the cop saw another woman sitting beside her, she looked as pale as a ghost.

“What happened to her?’ the officer asked.

“I don’t know, but she has been that way ever since we got off the interstate 160.”

6 Stephen May 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

A man carrying two huge suitcases to meet with a circus boss to apply for a job. The boss asked:

“What do you know?”

The man took out some big stones from one of the suitcases, threw the stones high in the air and used his head to catch the stones.

The boss nodded. Great. What is in the other suitcase?

“Painkiller!”

7 Stephen May 3, 2012 at 10:35 am

How much does it cost to get married?

A little boy asked his father: “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

The father replied: “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

8 Stephen May 3, 2012 at 12:16 pm

A college student is deeply in love with his classmate but he doesn’t know what to do to get the girl’s attention.

One day, he came to ask the girl for help with his assignments and the girl agreed.

Happily, he came to sit next to the girl the next day and took out a book pretending to read.

After a little while, the girl asked: “You must be a genius. How can you read a book upside down?”

9 Zillu May 4, 2012 at 11:38 am

Awesome

10 Aryan May 5, 2012 at 4:15 am

The officer thought that he was clever :) good story

11 Pratham May 13, 2012 at 6:28 am

It was wonderful. Thanks

12 Pratham May 13, 2012 at 6:33 am

HAHAHAHA! Thank you very much.

13 Klea June 1, 2012 at 1:53 am

The teacher asks Jimmy:

Teacher: “Jimmy, why aren’t you writing?”
Jimmy: “I don’t has a pencil.”
Teacher: “Jimmy, that’s not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don’t have a pencil; he doesn’t have a pencil; we don’t have a pencil.”
Jimmy: “Who stole all the pencils then?”

:)

14 Mlungisi June 2, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I like these stories, they keep me laughing and happy as i share

15 Havemore Nyambe June 4, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Super jokes. They make my world go round. Keep this up always.

16 Hendra June 4, 2012 at 11:46 pm

BIG LOL

17 Stephen June 11, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Two young boys’ conversation:

Johnny: “What makes the baby at your house cry so much, Tommy?”
Tommy: “If all your teeth were out, your hair off, and your legs so week you couldn’t stand on them, I guess you’d feel like crying yourself.”

18 Stephen June 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Teacher: “Let me hear how far you can count.”
Eugene: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king.”

19 Stephen June 11, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you looking at Fred’s book, Tommy.”
Tommy: “I hope you didn’t, too, sir.”

20 Liliana June 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Bobby practicing karate on a dummy (a life-size doll):

Bobby: “Let’s begin!” shouted Bobby “HA”
Bobby: Ow Ow Ow I kicked the wall instead!
Dummy: “Who’s the dummy now!”

:D :D :D :D :D

21 Lulunatic June 13, 2012 at 7:54 am

3 men died and went up to heaven. The guy at the gate said “The better you were to your wife, the better kind of car you’ll get.”

The first guy was very loyal to his wife and got a Ferrari. The second man fought with his wife so he got a broken down car. The last guy cheated on his wife dozens of times so he got a scooter.

One day the guy on the scooter saw the guy in the Ferrari crying. He asked him, “Why are you crying?”

He answered, “I just saw my wife on roller skates.”

22 Ally rose June 19, 2012 at 11:26 am

I loved the wrong email one. I think it was the best but I also liked the first :)

23 Buffon June 20, 2012 at 5:38 am

At night, a thief came in and stole a madman’s tv and dvd. On geting out of d house, d madman wakeup and chase d thief.

Afta 2 hrs race, d thief gave up, he start pleading but d madman replied ~Dont worry, i wanted to give you d remotes~

24 Buffon June 20, 2012 at 5:50 am

A drunkard stammers out of a bar and ran into 2 priests. He ran up to dem and says, ~ I’m Jesus Christ~. The priests reply ~No son, you are not.~

The drunk says, ~Look, i can prove it~ and walk back into d bar with d priests. The bartender takes a look at d drunk and exclaim, ~Jesuse Christ, you are here again?~

25 Antara June 21, 2012 at 7:01 am

Cool website. Keep up the good work.

26 Saul Samson June 23, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Wow, am sick but you are making me happy.

27 Lois Caminade June 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I like the drunk guy and priest one and the teacher and Jimmy but I like the clever kids story the best :P

28 Ken wa Nyabuto June 25, 2012 at 4:35 am

Woh!!..the funny stories are xo hilarious. Keep up & thanks.

29 Sexyjane June 26, 2012 at 3:30 am

So funny

30 Nhiebu tsürho June 28, 2012 at 7:01 am

Realy lyk it….:)

31 Aakriti June 28, 2012 at 8:38 am

Very humourous! Thnx a BUNCH!!!

32 Tujebway July 4, 2012 at 10:17 am

I like the Jimmy and Tommy’s, and the wife on trip. Ha ha haaa!.

33 Pradnya Oberoi July 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Very nice

34 LalaLucy July 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Mia, Cathy, Edward, David and John all decided to go for a walk in the jungle one day. Upon their stroll, they came across a pit of quick sand. It was way too long to jump over, and much too wide to go around. It had already taken them an hour to get this far, and none of them wanted to turn back.

“What are we going to do?” asked Cathy.

Just as she finished her sentene, a genie appeared.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “You can all walk across the quick sand without sinking, as long as you’re not gay.”

So, first Mia went across, and she didn’t sink. Then Edward walked across, and he didn’t sink. Then Cathy walked across, and she didn’t sink. The three of them then looked back to find John’s neck deep in the quick sand.

“John, you’re gay?” asked Mia.

“No,” he stated “David is holding onto my pants!”

35 Ayman July 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

There was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.

Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.”

Husband: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.”

Wife responded loudly: “That is why I’m crying.”

36 Ljeoma July 26, 2012 at 6:41 am

Nice one there

37 Almansor July 27, 2012 at 3:31 am

Great… keep up the good work.

38 Babi July 29, 2012 at 4:53 am

haha funny… good

39 Tripulee August 3, 2012 at 1:31 am

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they met a sign that said: Disneyland left. So they started crying and went back home.

40 Shaqe August 3, 2012 at 4:16 am

Hahaha………so funny stories tnx

41 Aakira August 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Super like

42 Vicky August 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

It is very nice and funny…

43 Seth Tha Bom August 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Funny much.

44 Shiqran August 10, 2012 at 1:24 am

I enjoyed this website very much.

45 Salinda from sri lanka August 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Here are my favorites:

There was a couple…the lady was very talkative and she kept talking with people on the phone hour after hour when she is alone at home.

End of everymonth they used to get a massive telephone bill and the husband was so worried on this.

One day they were dining at the table and the phone rang..

The lady’s reaction was immediate…she ran to the phone and started chatting..

After about 30-min she hang up and came back to the table.

The husband was happy that she hang up in 30 min which was a good sign where she normally doesn’t hung up at least for 2-hours. So he happily inquired…was she busy to hang up so early???

No..it was a wrong number.. replied the lady..

46 Hashinda August 14, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Thanx, it’s beautiful and funny.

47 Robinson August 15, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I just love all the jokes here… but so in love with the mad man joke.

48 Nobody August 21, 2012 at 6:39 am

Love these short stories! I have a teenage daughter and she’s always browsing the web for something to get her entetained, seeing as she came out of a relationship. I’m glad that I will tell her about this!

49 Zubu August 26, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Wow really funny, I like them thanks!

50 Miriam (mimi) August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

These are so so funny, I just can’t stop laughing.

Thanks to all who participated to came up with this.

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