The child and his mother:
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”
Wrong email address:
A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
😀 😀 😀
Will’s experience at the airport:
After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.
She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.
Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.
One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.
A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”
A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.
😀 😀 😀
A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:
“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?
The sailor said no to all his questions.
Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.
After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?
The professor said no.
Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.
A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.
The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”
The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.
The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”
😀 😀 😀
The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.
The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”
I like those funny stories <3<3
It is awesome, keep it up guys.
LoL love this.
Ok, so I understand why Batman puts bat in front of things, like the BATmobile or the BATarang. But sometimes it can get a little out of hand.
Batman: BATRobin, I need you to BATfetch the BATmobile.
BATRobin: Ok Batman but why do you need it?
Batman: I need to BATdrive to the BATtown to stop the BATjoker from robbing the BATbank! But first you need to get me some BATpants because I’m BATnaked!!!
OMG !! I had a lot of fun reading it. Keep it up guys 😀 Thanks 🙂
That was too great to read. It is very funny. Thanks for refreshment.
You guys are great. Keep it up.
I like these stories more especially funny professor and sailor … Sharkology, dieology…….
An old widow was alone at home reading the newspaper when the phone rang. She answered it, and a harsh voice answered. “I am the Viper. I am coming to your house.”
At this, the widow was really scared because a Viper is a snake. So she called the cops, who said it was probably a prank call but would be there in an hour or so. A little while after that, she received another call. “The Viper is right outside your house.”
The widow FREAKED OUT and hid under her table. Then the doorbell rang. Assuming it was the police, she opened it, and standing there was a short man holding a sponge and a bottle of windex.
“I am the Viper.” he said, smiling. “I am here to vash and vipe your vindows, for only five dollars!”
These stories are so cooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllll.
Hahaahh very funny.
Superb. I love it guys. You all are genius.
Omg, I truly love these jokes and I would add one except for my jokes aren’t as awesome as these and would pale in comparison.
Soooooooo funny hahahahahah
OMG that is funny hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
Thank you brothers and sisters.. I love all your jokes. They are very funny, but I loved more that elephant than others.
Don’t stop the jokes, keep them coming!
Thank you very much of your funny stories.
A woman and her son were at a stop light. The son looked over at the other car besides them and noticed that the old woman in it was naked.
The boy gasped and yelled, “Mommy, the old woman isn’t wearing seat belt!”
These are the funniest jokes.
Haha…lol. I love this. It’s just amazing.
Best ever funny stories.
One day a science teacher asked what would happen if she sits on the radiator.
A student replied, “Miss, you’d break it!”
Good job guys, keep it up !!
HAHA HAHA HAAA I like the assology headology and dielogy very much.
Stories are too good… laughed nicely. Thank you very much.
Hahahahahahahaha am dead with these jokes ooohhhhh!
Love all of them. This site is wagwan!!
A lady was asked to fill a form for an employment.
First name: Ahade
Sex: Twelve times in a week
Way too cool jokes hahahhahahahahahahaha
Hahahaha lol Bokgopo ntate.
They are really good. I hope there are more on the way 😀
lol… u guyz are awesome.
During the crusades a man decided to go on a campaign. He made a chastity belt and put it on his wife. Then he went to his friend and gave him a key saying: “I’m off to the join the crusades. If I don’t come back please release my wife with this key.”
Off he went and after a couple of hours riding his horse he sees another horseman chasing after him. He stops and realises its his friend. “What’s the matter?” he asks and the friend responded: “You gave me the wrong key.”
Great stories. I like it.
I like the sailor and the professor the most… Laughed more than half an hour..!
A fly fell into a glass of whisky then got out saying, “clear the passage for the eagle.”
Ha Ha Ha ! Such funny stories, made everyone laugh 😀
In an exam hall:
The question was to draw female reproductive system and the teacher said do not to copy from anybody.
A girl bent down… the guy sat next to her shouted, “Teacher, she is copying from the original.”
lol awesomely funny I just couldn’t stop LOL >.<
Hehe….good one… :p
I loveolgy olgy storolgy.
It is just very funny and I need more to come.
This site is very nice, it is the best website I have seen. Thank you to the one who created this website.
That was great
These stories are really funny……ha ha ha I wish I could read more…….
They re really funny, cant stop laughing
Cool jokes love them all
You guys are too much funny hahahahaha
Very funny stories.
A*W*E*S*O*M*E !! Liked them so much! Thnxx you got me ideas to prank my teachers!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
It was very interesting and funny.
Veryyyyyyyyyyyyy funny stories
Oh boy! I really love all this stuff, makes me laugh and forget stress..
The Dog and the Lion:
One day an old dog lost his way while chasing rabbits. Soon he noticed a lion in the distance running towards him with a hungry look in his eye.
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, the dog immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the lion was about to leap, the old dog exclaimed, “That was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?” Upon hearing this, the young lion stoped mid-stride and hurried to safety in the trees.
A squirrel who had been watching from a nearby tree, knew the dog’s tricks and decided to trade his knowledge for protection from the lion. Catching up with the lion, he explained what happened and struck a deal. The young lion was furious at being made a fool of and said, “Hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”
The old dog spied the lion coming with the squirrel on his back. Instead of running, he sat down with his back to the pair, pretending he hadn’t seen them yet. When they got close enough tohear, the old dog said, “Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!”
Moral: Don’t mess with old dogs. Age and experience will always beat youth and treachery.
Mr bean was terrible at remembering passwords so once he set his password to “INCORRECT” so if he got it wrong, then the computer would remind him saying… “Your password is INCORRECT.” 😀
I love what I’m seeing and I just love it.
Boy: Get out of my way, CHIMP!
Chimpanzee: Don’t call me “CHIMP”!
Boy: But you are one.
Chimpanzee: Oh, yeah.
Some are real fun. Thanks
I like all the jokes and short stories… Keep it up… Stephen you are too good, your jokes are also very good…!
It was very intresting indeed….LOL
I like it hahahaha
Good! I like!!!
Lol k here’s mine:
Teacher: Welcome to basic biology class who can tell me how many butts do people have?
Boy: Boys have one Girls have two:)
Hahahaha the wrong email was so funny poor matron.
I love the wrong email address story.
Ha ha ha! I believe that laughter is the best medicine.
The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.
Those two were medically certifiable illness or a death in the immediate family.
A “smart” student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and asked, “But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?” The classroom exploded into laughter.
A teacher speaking in front of a group of boy college freshmen about the college rules. The teacher starts talking about the dorm rooms. “If you get caught in a girls dorm room after nine o’clock, you will get a fifty dollar fine. If you get caught twice, you get a hundred dollar fine. If you get caught three times, you get a two hundred-fifty dollar fine and suspension for a week at the least.” So a boy raises his hand and asks, “How much for a yearly pass?”
LOL I’ve been on this website all day! I can’t stop laughing!
This is amazing, the person who came up with this idea is a genius. I was down but now I can’t get the smile out of my face. I liked the boys in the park and the girl and mother conversation. keep up the good work.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
With little nazis.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he was feeling kinda crummy.