The child and his mother:
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”
Wrong email address:
A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
😀 😀 😀
Will’s experience at the airport:
After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.
She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.
Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”
Clever kids:
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.
One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.
A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”
A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.
😀 😀 😀
Mouthology:
A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:
“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?
The sailor said no to all his questions.
Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.
After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?
The professor said no.
Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.
Captain:
A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.
The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”
The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.
The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”
😀 😀 😀
Elephant:
The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.
The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”
Really enjoy the fun here!
Thank you for all your effort!!!
Love to see more…
Really funny and the one between sailor and the professor was good
Wonderful
This was absolutely fantastic! I couldn’t stop reading. I kept wanting more as I finished the last one! Great, funny, and entertaining. Terrific job! Thank you.
Wow great stories love them I laughed even though I didnt want to becus I was annoyed
Wat abaaaaut…..hahahahahaha’mshamba’ u guyz rock maen!..keep up
Wow….this story ..umm…should I say…greatttttttttttttt!!!!!!
Thank you alot
Hello. My name is razieh and im from iran…thanks for your great website…it has great stories thanks alot!
hahahahahaaaaaaaa
Hihihihih these jokes rule. I love them
You have made my year
Very cool kidding jokes
Hahahaaa!!! so funny!!
It was really funny, I really like these funny stories
A teacher asked a student to mention an animal that lives in the desert, “camel” the student replied. The teacher asked the student to mention another animal that lives in the desert, “another camel” the student replied.
Extremely hilarious ‘funny short stories’ and very inspiring moral stories.Loved them.Have read them all,may a couple of add on s would be good!
Thanks a lot. Cheer my day. I am sick and these helped.
A young woman named Jessie received a parrot as a gift many years ago. Over time the parrot developed an extremely bad attitude.
It got to the point that every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude and obnoxious. Jessie tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else she could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s attitude and by then ‘foul language.’
Finally, Jessie was fed up and yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Jessie lost it and shook the parrot. The parrot became uncontrollable and even more rude. Jessie, in desperation, threw up her hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that she’d hurt the parrot, Jessie quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jessie’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
Jessie was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
As she was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, “Mypenis,” and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, “Error. Not long enough.”
Thank you so much
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.
“We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper.”
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive…
OBAMAISM
You have two cows.
Obama takes them both, gives them to an inner city dweller, along with a new phone he forced you to pay for, and tells you it is fair because you had so much and he had so little.
Obama bills you for housing your two cows because the inner city dweller has no idea what to do with cows and no land to keep them on.
Obama charges you with the crime of allowing your two cows to shit on your land which is really his land because he declared it to be a wetland (your cows also peed on it).
Obama throws you off your land to protect it from you.
Obama sends you to prison for your heinous crimes against nature and you are forced to care for government animals as part of your sentence… two cows.
Obama threatens to send your family members to prison too because they raised money to hire a lawyer to defend you.
You forgot terrorism: you have 2 cows. Terrorists come up to you and blow themselves up, killing you and both of the cows. Israel is blamed for the deaths.
ALTRUISM:
You have two cows
You give one to your neighbor who lost his to a natural disaster
SOCIALISM:
You have two cows
The state takes one and gives it to your neighbor who refuses to work
Very good jokes
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no…
Awesome jokes.. Gonna recommend dis site to my frnds..
the jokes are really interesting.
I love the jokes they are really interesting i will appreciate more if you updates me wherever you are updating new jokes and stories.
Very funny I like it
Enjoyed these stories, escpialy liked Crocodiolody, ideology and had a gud stomach paining laughology.
hahahahahahaha funny you guys are creative
Soo interesting hey,i cn’t wakeup without viewing this page
Hahahahahahaha very funny stories…… 😛 😀 😀 😀 😀
B coz of this i got a fever…… laughing fever OMG………..
Very funny…… I like it.
It was soooooooooo funny. Im still laughing my head off. There’s stupid ppls in this world.:):D;):*8-)
Really superb 🙂 🙂
Really superb jokes…..as it keeps u charged whole day…. 🙂 🙂
Super Jokes i like it …………….
Really laughed out loud! Sooo soooo soooooo funny!!!, & so thankful that u have shared such jokes like this, Bless u more & hope for more more jokes. More power to u guys!!!!
Lol
I like it all
So funny
Very good job to make some moments of one’s life happy
One day there was an elderly man. He would always go to the shops every Saturday at 4 pm, no later. The shop keeper was used to him coming so he got to no him very well. One day the shop keep never saw him come in the front door at 4 pm, so he waited another 5 minutes. He still wasn’t there. The shop keeper was getting worried so he went to the mans house to see if he was there. He wasn’t there. He went to the mans bowling club. He wasn’t there. The shop keeper wasn’t sure where to look now so he went back to his store. When he got back he saw the elderly man walking out of the store. The shop keeper said “I was looking everywhere for you. Why didn’t you come at your normal time?” The elderly man looked puzzled. He said “What do you mean? Last Saturday you gave me the key so I could come in from the back door.”
Very nice keep it up
Hahaha <3 this website and everyone using it 😀
This is so funology…..keep it up guys….lol
Still laughing upto now
Absolutely amazed by these wonderful short inspirational stories!
Thank you for these funny short stories, i will surely share this if got a chance.
Just love this site, im really enjoying.. Lyk it.
Just love this site, im really enjoying.
It is wonderful and worth reading
Short & sweet niceeeee……..
I’m smiling from ear to ear… i love the man in restaurant… (y)
Interesting
Waw, that was fabulous
Hahahah..indeed its helarious . I just love it
It’s nice.
Thnx a lot guys whosoever was behind this site idea. U have made my night, couldn’t sleep only to browse n I landed his,.. really had fun reading this,….llool
Woaw!!! I really enjoyed after reading this!!!! Very funny….still laughing.
like
super funny (“,)
Thanks you for making me happy.
Pls more of the funny stories tanx
Very nice funny story.
So nyc
Awesome
Haha
Nice jokes… I like the mouthtiology the most.
Expecting more……….
Me too like assology.
Hi..my name is sahar and I’m from iran and i really love your web :-*
Hmmmmmmmm Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
What a nice stories tell us another