Teacher: Last night I had a dream that I ate a huge marshmallow.
Student: And what happened next?
Teacher: I woke up in the morning and found my pillow gone!!!
A girl came home from school. Her mother asked, “Dear how was your first day at school?”
And the girl replied, “First day? You mean I have to go back there tomorrow?”
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!
Q: What must you do before you get board a bus?
A: Get on it!
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: The word smiles because there is a mile between each s.
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
Q: What is black and white, white and black, black and white?
A: A zebra caught in a revolving door!!
Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road?
A: To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Q: What did the pig say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
A: That’s the end of me…
Q. What happens when you throw a black cat in the red sea?
A. It gets wet.
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: Because it was not peeling well!
Q. Why do fish swim in salt water?
A. Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. You’re too young to smoke
Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine
Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: Because nobody else will do it for them.
Q. Why did the cat cross the road?
A. To get away from the dog!
Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. To chase the cat on the other side!!!
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud
Q: What do you get when you throw all the books in the world in the ocean?
A: A title wave
Q: Why don’t vampires like mosquitoes?
A: Too much competition!
Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says “Spit out your gum” and the train says “Choo! Choo!”
Riddles for Kids:
1. I don’t have lungs or a chest but I need air; I am not alive, but I grow; I don’t have a mouth and I’m allergic to water. What am I ?
2. I am found in the sea and on land but I do not walk or swim. I travel by foot but I am toeless. I’m never far from home. What am I?
Answer: A snail
3. I run but I never walk. I have a mouth but I never talk. I have a bed but I never lie. What am I ?
Answer: A river
4. What walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon, and 3 legs in the evening?
Answer: A man (crawls as a baby, then walks on 2 feet, then uses a cane (3 legs) as an old man.)
5. What thing that God made sleeps with its head down?
Answer: A bat
6. What is greater than God, more evil than the devil, poor people have it, rich people need it, and if you eat it you will die?
7. What is as big as an elephant but doesn’t weigh anything?
Answer: An elephant’s shadow
8. What goes up, but never comes down?
9. What did George Washington say to his men before they got in the boat?
Answer: “Men, get in this boat!”
10. My uncle has a sister but she is not my aunt. Who is she?
Answer: My mother
11. What animal carries his house wherever he goes?
12. If you chop it, it heals at once.
13. Claps and claps, but the neighbors do not hear.