My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…
I really liked it as it showed me a new way to look at our relationship and also this wife is very lucky __
I like this story alot, and nothing is easy but a marriage isn’t something you just quit on, it’s important and a priority. I marriage wasnt ment too be broken, it was ment for better or for worse, not just leave them when the sun no longer shines, otherwises what is the point of a marriage, is a commitment, and its sad how no body values it much anymore. But this is a great story.
This really made me cry .. Best story .. And a great lesson for my marital life further.
My wife and I have recently been having some issues. Mainly all my fault. And I admit that freely. I’ve not been pulling my weight and have put a huge strain on our relationship. Now in the weeks past I have changed dramatically. Doing the right things , making good decisions and following through. But I can still say I believe she deserves.someone better. Now accepting 85 or even 90% of the responsibility of the issues in our marriage that still leaves a hefty 15% that are things that she does to hurt me. I have asked her to change those issues and now, after much deliberation, she is changing. But we are still arguing over the little stuff. She says she doesn’t feel “that loving feeling anymore”. And I told her “we’re married! We won’t have that feeling like we did when we first fell in love”. So 11 years and a 7 year old little girl later that loving feeling has taken a back seat. But I still love her and tell her that. I do sweet things for her and want to hold her and kiss her. She doesn’t. What was I doing wrong? After a good many talks and fights we almost divorced. But since then she has changed and things have been much better. I read this story at 5am this morning and was amazed of how closely a lot of it fit our situation. When I woke her at 630am I insisted on her reading it as well. She did. And she loved it. And she realized how much I truly love her and how much she loves me. So thank you for the beautiful story and the inspiration to do the right things. And above all else …………………. to love. Mark
Great story. I also love my wife very much but she always feels I am over caring, maybe one day she will understand me.
Heart touching 🙂
Before giving up we should think again and again… sometimes we have no way to solve our act..
Very interesting love story.
This is truly unconditional love ..Excellent story ..
I hope that I will love my life partner like the engineer ‘s husband.
Nice story… Very touching.
Wow so amazing!!! Thanks for the touching and inspirational stories 🙂
For both of you God bless !
I like it.
He’d be a lot better off without that b-tch!!!
Really learned something from this..
Thanks for the inspirational stories.
It’s beautiful.. I love it.
Good case study. The story narrated should read along with Muzics comments not as a counter point but to complement the story from the point of the woman. Good. I enjoyed reading.
Councellors are taught to be nonjudgemental but that reinforces pathetic self love but confrontation Muzic style does help.
I promise myself to never ever suspect again my husband of not loving me the way I love him.. After reading this, I know my husband has his own ways of showing his unconditional love for me.. Thank you for posting this very inspiring story, I have so many realizations.. 🙂
The fact is.. Love exists in many forms.. Sometimes, marriage is being destroyed not because couples are no longer happy with each other but most of the times, the reason behind is that one of the party is looking too far and overlook the things that need to be given closer attention..· Like.
I like it. It’s a heartouching story 😉
I wish I can find a man like him 😉
True love need not be expressed but felt but most women expect demonstration and drama, unfortunately most men are practical and down to earth. That is where the conflict lies.
Really heart touching……….
After reading this story I was crying..gosh so much inspiring..Tnx for the nice story.
All the best… wish you all happiness…
Wow, I like the story. I need to pass the message to someone.
I agree with this completely!!!!!!!! I am a firm believer in all of the above comments regarding “love.”
It’s a real good one, I love to read it time, time and time again
Love this story…so true
I love this piece
What a beautiful love the husband has got on her. Great.
Nice piece and great work of art!
What a lesson, to whom much is given much is expected.
I think we all forget something. The reason the woman gave for wanting a divorce was the same reason she loved him in the first place hence it can’t be a flimsy excuse. What I always tell people is this; relationships should be a give and take situation. We all should learn to give back what we recieve.
For me the man’s answer to the rhetorical question mostly belittled the woman’s capabilities -maybe because he was anxious- but the last part was what truly answered the question ‘growing old in love agenda’.
My advice to women, it takes two to make a marriage work, and to the men, learn to be more communicative because marriage isn’t just about providing for her but also bin a companion.
In the universal, some time the human doesn’t what to be when they are happy but they feel sad they want to live alone.
Anyhow we should keep patient, sympathies forgive and forget with our loves when we love another people in our life.
Okay, cute story. Except the question you asked really bothered me. How could you ask a question like that? Why would you want that flower that would end his life? Why are you asking him to sacrifice everything for you? I think it’s reasonable to ask for some sacrifice- but to sacrifice everything for only a desire. I agree with everyone else. What a ridiculous question. If someone asked me a question like that, I think I would end up questioning the sanity of the person asking it.
I couldn’t stop my tears reading this story. It relates to my life and my long relationship boyfriend, hope you can give a story of forgiving even though the man commits mistakes (third party)…..hope to read those things and how to resist insecurities…
This is a very touching story.
This inspired me a lot. Thanks for this post and keep it up.
I love it! Really like it! It’s inspiring. I love one but if asked the reason why I do,I can’t explain because I don’t know. I just love her.
This is incredible, powerful and inspiring.
This is great.. many people might have read this story and regretted because they are likely out of the marriage… this is just because they lack the virtue of being content with what they have and can get… well, if you want a different kind of love, first change your expectations and be the first to give the kind of love you want so that it can be mirrored or rather reflected back to you… it may not be seen or felt as you expect it to, nor reflected as such but my point is, keep doing and giving the kind of love you want and the benefits will be: You will get creative and realize and invent your own ways of loving and discover a lot… either about love, your partner or yourself… also learn to praise, compliment or thank your partner for those little things they do and you will remember the moments, facial expressions and reactions they showed while you complimented them, and you will remember their good acts or deeds towards you and how you felt… Just go and love to love your partner or rather love loving your partner and if they know what you love or like, they will give you what you love, and that is love… enjoy you love lovers!
Plain simple yet hits home. I mostly love the 4th comment made by muzik. Raw truth…doff my hat!
This is a good one.. I totally back the engineer.
I am in shock, I feel as though I am reading my own script, Me too am very sentimental and i crave romance like a little girl craving candy-her words not mine. right now i feel very tired and fedup because my husband is the type that never show emotion, i am good at showering him with it, but i am tired of giving it all the time. but thanks to muzik I now see what clearly, he is the best provider and very clever and helps with difficult decisions as am not very good especially with money matters, but he not at all the physical or kissy kissy type which drives me nuts. I am what i am, but from now I will try my best to change.
Very well written post by Musik, I couldn’t agree with him more. Way to go Musik, I hope your message is received loud and clear, especially by the writer of this story since she does need a loud wake up call as well as a reality check.
Really touching!!!
I am lost for words. Amazing!
Really moving, I love it!
Very inspiring….brought tears to my eyes. We shouldn’t rush into making decisions without examining ourselves. Are we better wives? I think women should try and find if they are better wives before making demands.
So humbling and so loving. Learn to appreciate love in it’s simplest form.
Awesome….. now that real!
Uuhm, honestly, a great read, but id agree with Sibit, i need to dig my nails deeper onto the ground while reading, i expected more…
if this is a real life scenario, then the wife is mean, or either am just a bit too understanding… i don’t know!
I think i love this! It touches.
Really? The story ain’t all that. I expected a more grandiose ending. However, I do see a bit of myself in the woman and a lot of my guy in the man. What can I say, try as we may, us girls are suckers for romance.
Soo inspiring! Whao! What a humble & loving husband.
Wow! It’s really a touching and an amazing story I must say. Love conquers all things… Thank you for sharing this interesting story.
Waoh so touching…
Nice story here. It is important when we read, to pick out lessons from stories like this and think of ways to apply them to LIFE situations. Some pple just criticize and say all kind of silly comments cos they have not found themself in either of this couples shoe. Ladies n men let us together learn, so dat we can make dis world a beta place for us, our families n children. Ladies learn also submission and patience in all matter, in any situation and @ all Cost. Dats Gods instruction and dont forget a home wtout Christ is SHATTERED… C u all at d top, till den stay BLESSED!
Eyes opening story. I’ve learnt to see love in a different way
What an inspiring story, it was touching and educative thanks for sharing your life story with us.
I wouldn’t exactly say I was moved cos the story seem kinda shallow 2 me. The lady here was obviously bored out of her mind. If she had a life, a career n a kid or two, she would have realised what real issues of life were all about. And the guy here should have written the damn letter in a more non critical manner, he only wrote all that just 2 serve d purpose of revealing how insecure and idle she is and her inability 2 foresee her life in years to come. In essence, d letter was just self serving all in a bid 2 make her realise that he was just putting up wit her excesses.
Interesting story but the writer is stereotyping the engineering profession as uncaring. This is not true.
One may not believe… but, this’s the best story I have ever read…. it’s amarantos….!
Very instructive and thought-provoking, so full of lessons.
I absolutely love it! 🙂
This is lovely someone once said that when u love someone dont try to change them into ur kind of person else u only love the reflection of yourself that you see in them.
Infact this left me speechless, communication is the key to all answer in a relationship.
What an inspiring and heart touching story. The woman should be grateful to God for giving her such a loving husband.
D guy is nt an idiot @petosh he only answered his wife’s rhetorical question with a witty analysis to drive home his point; which was how much he loved her!
The woman must count herself very lucky. The problem with women is that they are suspicious of diminishing in love even when ur though center on how to make live comfortable for them
The wise man won the day. As for the woman, I’ve got nothing nice to say. Keeping the fires of romance and passion burning in a marriage goes both ways. She did nothing but expected everything.
It’s amazing and embarrassing how some women think!
Very interesting
I hope I never ever have to meet such a woman ever.