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Funny Short Stories

The child and his mother:

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Wrong email address:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

😀 😀 😀

Will’s experience at the airport:

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Clever kids:

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

😀 😀 😀

Mouthology:

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Captain:

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.

The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.

The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”

😀 😀 😀

Elephant:

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


Do you know any short but very funny stories? Please share below 😛


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{ 944 comments… add one }
  • Ernest November 23, 2012, 3:34 pm

    A guy asked a girl to plug him mango on a tree, the girl did as the boy asked… When the girl got home she told her mom about it…Mom I climed a mango tree and pluged one for a guy.

    The mother said, “I hope he didn’t see your panties.”

    The girl replied, “No mum I was clever I took the panties off before climbing.” 🙂

  • Rifat November 22, 2012, 9:27 pm

    A man was riding on a helicopter. He told his assistant to throw something off. He threw a ball. He saw a kid crying he asked the kid why you crying he said a ball hit me.

    He went on the helicopter again the boss told him to throw something off he threw a pinapple he saw a kid crying he asked the kid why you crying he said a pinapple hit my cat.

    Then he got back up and the boss told him to throw something he threw a bomb!! He saw a kid laughing he asked the kid why you laughing he said my grandma farted so badly she blew up the house!!!

    (*grandma farted at the same time the bomb hit the house*)

  • Joseph November 22, 2012, 1:32 pm

    One day as I was at a Chinese shop, there came a student who was on her vacation.

    “Excuse me sir, do you have any vacancy?” asked the girl.

    The Chinese man while looking at the things he was selling, said: “Ah madam, vacancy no have, only have vacuum.”

  • Ddawn November 22, 2012, 12:18 pm

    Mothers Worst Nightmare

    Dear mum,

    I am writing you this note to say that I haven’t been honest to you lately.

    I have a boyfriend, his name is Dragon and he lives in a trailer in the woods he wears biker clothes and deals Ecstasy.

    I am moving in with him and I am four months pregnant.

    His friends will come over all the time so I can get a little frisky with them.

    We will make a living out of growing drugs and selling them to Dragons friends as are both already drug addicts, we will live a life of drugs and beer.

    Wish us luck
    Katie

    P.S.
    I am at the neighbors house, all of the above was a lie I just wanted to let you know there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the top drawer.

  • Adams Kano November 22, 2012, 12:56 am

    Thanks for all the great funny stories, I like them all.

  • Gangstaking54 November 21, 2012, 11:52 am

    Very funny especially the one about the boys in the park, I was laughing a storm to that one & no I did not make hurricane Sandy as a result, it was mother nature, blame her with her green teeth.

  • Manmath November 19, 2012, 3:26 am

    Great mind refresher

  • Reethika November 18, 2012, 2:03 pm

    Very, very nice.

  • Great Indian Jokes November 18, 2012, 7:25 am

    Historians from US, UK and India were trying to boost how developed their ancient civilization used to be.

    UK historians: We dug and found out copper cable led all along major ancient cities, this concludes we were using telephones since long back.

    US historians: That’s it!! Dude, we dug and found out optical fiber. We were much more advanced in telecommunication since long back.

    Indian historians: Pity on you people, actually we dug and dug deep, but found nothing. This of course concludes we were using wireless communication since that era. :mrgreen:

  • Saad kayani November 17, 2012, 11:39 am

    Doctor: How did your car accident happen?
    Patient: I was turning…
    Doctor: So a car came in your way!?
    Patient: No, actually there was no road turn….

  • KATEY AND LOGAN November 16, 2012, 3:17 pm

    Once we sat in a classroom full of kids OMG

  • Anonymous November 16, 2012, 2:44 pm

    A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.

    The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

    The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.

    The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!” 😀

  • Nathan k Serem November 15, 2012, 10:38 am

    It’s funny I lyk it.

  • LOL November 14, 2012, 10:44 am

    Awesome!!!!!!! Love this blog!!!

    A college proffessor comes up to a religious student and asks him: Can you feel God with any of your five senses?

    Student replies: No…

    Professor: Then He is not there!

    Student replies: Can anyone feel your brain?

  • Ntaganda Alfred November 14, 2012, 9:41 am

    These stories are very important to people mostly in my country where most people were not able to laugh as they used to before genocide happened in Rwanda.

    I surely enjoyed these stories cause they let me forget the trouble of life we live in here. Thanks a lot for your ideas of bringing this to ease us sometimes.

  • Senorita November 14, 2012, 1:03 am

    Nice jokes, enlightened my mood.

  • The Giant November 14, 2012, 12:46 am

    Nice Stories!

  • Stephen November 13, 2012, 5:57 pm

    A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
    B: Yes, of course.
    A: Great! I never could before!

  • Stephen November 13, 2012, 5:56 pm

    A: Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
    B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

  • Irfu November 13, 2012, 5:23 am

    Wife to husband: Darling, doctor suggested me to go to Switzerland or Paris for relaxation, where shall we go?

    Husband: Other doctor!

  • Irfu November 13, 2012, 3:59 am

    Santa: I need poison.
    Chemist: I can’t sell until you have prescription.
    Santa showed him his wedding card.
    Chemist: Enough, will u make me cry? Which one shall I give. Big bottle or small one?

  • Irfu November 13, 2012, 3:16 am

    Once I was travelling in a taxi, the taxi driver said: “I am very happy with this job. I am my own boss and nobody can order me what to do.”

    Then I said: “Take left.” 😀

  • Irfu November 13, 2012, 2:47 am

    Once a sardar was passing nearby a village. He looked something on the road, he went near that thing, picked it up, smelled and very angrily he cried, “Idiot, who the hell is this did potty on the road which looks like burger!”

  • LaMatt November 12, 2012, 9:26 pm

    Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”

    The next morning when his wife woke up she looked out the window to find a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

    Bob has been missing since. :mrgreen:

  • Yohana November 12, 2012, 5:04 pm

    Very interesting stories, I like them.

  • Irfu November 12, 2012, 4:20 pm

    Once a Japanese came to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a taxi and asked the driver to take him to the airport.

    On the way, a Toyota car passed them very fast, the Japanese yelled “Toyota” made in Japan very fast. Then the Mitsubishi passed, the Japanese again yelled “Mitsubishi” made in Japan very fast. On the 3rd time, he yelled again when he saw another Japanese car.

    The taxi driver got angry but he didn’t say anything.

    When they reached the airport, the taxi driver asked a charge of 800 rupees. The Japanese exclaimed: “What! That is too much.”

    The Indian driver yelled back loudly: Meter, made in India, very, very fast!

  • Dionne Carlo Camosa (Philippines) November 11, 2012, 7:03 pm

    LOL! This is such a nice blog! LOL!! I sent some jokes to my teammates and they were laughing out loud…. gotta share this blog!

  • Kgotso maBuela November 11, 2012, 2:42 pm

    Hey you, laughed the h*ll out of me. I gotta say well played. I like this Blog.

  • Stephen November 9, 2012, 6:11 pm

    A chemistry professor wanted to teach the 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

    “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, as happy as a worm in water could be.

    The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

    “Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.

    Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…

    “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

  • Stephen November 9, 2012, 6:09 pm

    Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?

    Little Johnny: It’s H2O.

    Teacher: Good! Can you tell me the chemical formula for ice?

    Little Johnny: It’s H2O cubed.

  • Dark Justice November 9, 2012, 4:51 pm

    The teacher asked, “What is the chemical formula for water?”

    A student raises his hand and answers, “HIJKLMNO”!!

    The teacher, puzzled, asks, “What on earth are you talking about?”

    Student answers, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”

  • Nevra Oma Cara November 9, 2012, 3:56 pm

    Loved all these funny stories and jokes!!! They made me laugh till I fell off the bed. Keep it up guys!!!

  • Neha November 9, 2012, 7:57 am

    Awesome jokes, I just loved them.

  • Richi rajesh November 8, 2012, 5:25 am

    Now I am student of jadavpur…..

  • Naomibhf November 8, 2012, 4:50 am

    OMG. I have heavy depreassion and have not laughed in months. Now I can’t stop laughing.

  • Hubba Bubba November 6, 2012, 7:06 pm

    One day, a girl named Suzie was listening to a song on her Ipod, when another girl named Malissa overheard her.

    Malissa: *sneers* “That song is so old!”

    Suzie: *laughs* “Yeah, well so is your mom and you still listen to her!”

  • The Monkey November 6, 2012, 3:45 pm

    Once upon a time, a man from America, a man from Nigeria and a man from China were involved in an argument.

    Chinese man: My country is the most improved country in the world. The day you conduct election, the next day you will know the winner.

    American man: It is a lie, it is a lie! My country, the day you conduct election, that day you know the winner.

    Nigerian man: As far as I am concerned, you are all joking. In my country, before the actual election, we know the winner!!!

  • Vulture November 6, 2012, 12:06 am

    So nice funny stories. Enjoyed a lot. More please.

  • Manya November 5, 2012, 5:02 am

    Ha … Ha … Ha …
    It was very funny….
    Thanks…

  • Leah November 4, 2012, 11:39 am

    LOL these are sooo funny, keep up the funny jokes.

  • Nelson Aman November 3, 2012, 4:01 am

    The teacher asked his students to draw a ring and as expected, all drew objects with circular shape. However, one little boy drew a square.

    “Why did you draw a square?” The teacher asked.

    “Mine is a Boxing Ring, sir.” The boy replied. 😀

  • Dechen November 3, 2012, 12:30 am

    I likelogy funnylogy storylogy… It makelogy melogy releasilogy my tenslogy..ewww…

  • Anna November 1, 2012, 2:47 pm

    Yay

  • Afifa Noor October 31, 2012, 9:22 am

    It was very fun to read them but some of them I did not understand, but laughed, they were all very funny.

  • Ali Bukhari October 30, 2012, 11:35 pm

    An inbound sales officer was working at his terminal in a large office building with floor-to-ceiling windows. As a funeral procession passed on the street below, he stood at attention and bowed his head.

    A passing colleague noticed the officer’s actions and said to another, “What a kind, thoughtful thing to do!”

    “I don’t know,” said the other. “It’s actually the least he could have done.”

    “What do you mean?”

    “They would have been married twenty years next month.”

  • Püshu Lam October 30, 2012, 12:38 am

    Had a great time laughing..!:D

  • Gantsetseg October 29, 2012, 10:26 pm

    Really funny stories 😀

  • Hovagim October 29, 2012, 1:55 pm

    Once there were three boys who went to the park, their names were: Shut Up, Manners and Trouble. Trouble got lost so Shut Up told Manners to wait while he went to ask the police for help.

    The police asked, “What is your name?” He said Shut Up, then the police yelled, “What is your name?”

    He said Shut Up, then the police asked where are your manners? The boy said out in the park. Then the police asked, “Are you looking for trouble?” Then the boy said, “Yes, how did you know?” 😀

  • Rachit Diwan October 29, 2012, 5:56 am

    These are really good stories.

  • Anush ram October 28, 2012, 12:03 pm

    Once a boy expressed his love to a girl and the girl replied: “If I remove my slipper your face will enlarge.”

    The boy cooly replied: “If I remove my pant zip, your stomach will enlarge.”

    🙂

  • Shailendra October 27, 2012, 7:37 am

    Really funny!

  • Ladylibra Sinulingga October 25, 2012, 9:52 am

    Sooo funny!

    I love that assology crocodilogy story.

    Still laughing for bout 20 mnts now 😀

  • Stephen October 23, 2012, 7:23 pm

    Once upon a time, a boy loved a girl and proposed but the girl said “no”.

    and…
    and…..
    and……..

    the boy lived happily after :mrgreen:

  • Aleena October 23, 2012, 3:17 pm

    Girl: Don’t follow me, I already have a boyfriend…
    Boy: If the goal keeper is there won’t we try a goal???
    “Think Positive” 😛

    My friend messaged me this 😀

  • The Monkey October 23, 2012, 7:39 am

    A drunk man fell in a well and people came to save him… but no one could enter the well to bring him out. Later, one man came up with an idea to throw the drunk man a rope to try to pull him out.

    When the rope hit the drunk man’s head, he angrily shouted: “Pick your own well man, I am bathing.”

    :mrgreen:

  • Apeluisa October 22, 2012, 10:40 pm

    Thanks a lot. Cheer my day. I am sick and these helped.

  • Jam October 22, 2012, 9:24 am

    I loved the jokes- The child and his mother, #7, 17, 39, 61, 67.

    They are really great, keep it up!

  • Evans G Nzambu October 22, 2012, 8:23 am

    Fabulous jokes, am greatly amused.

  • SWAMI October 20, 2012, 1:56 pm

    Sailor and professor- awesome!

  • Okoth Allan October 20, 2012, 10:10 am

    Sooo nice for one who may feel out of place.

  • Qweerrty October 19, 2012, 3:59 am

    Super! These jokes are very good.

  • Teresa Chlorine October 18, 2012, 4:01 pm

    A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

    Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

    The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”

    The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”

    The reporter says, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”

    The biker replies, I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.

    The journalist leaves.

    The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page: “U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH”

    ….and THAT pretty much sums up the media’s approach to the news these days…

  • Mahesh October 17, 2012, 3:11 pm

    Very, very good jokes.

  • Adie of Sabah October 17, 2012, 1:01 am

    Hahaha and hahahaha… damnnn funny.

  • Anju October 16, 2012, 5:20 am

    Really funny 🙂

    Hahahaha……..

  • Frescilakilu October 16, 2012, 3:03 am

    Very impressing!

  • Tarun October 16, 2012, 2:26 am

    Superb jokes

  • Miss Danielle October 15, 2012, 9:47 pm

    I love all the stories!

  • Chance October 15, 2012, 3:17 pm

    Why it sucks to be an egg:

    1. You only get laid once
    2. You only get eaten once
    3. You share a box with 11 other guys
    4. But worst of all the only chick that ever sat on you was your mother :mrgreen:

  • Bazie October 15, 2012, 11:15 am

    I love this site.

  • Ralph Jude (Nigeria) October 11, 2012, 11:15 am

    A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

    “Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

    The sailor said no to all his questions.

    Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

    After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

    The professor said no.

    Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology. :mrgreen:

  • Gemunu October 10, 2012, 1:53 am

    These are the most funny stories I have ever seen so thank you very much for keeping me enjoyable.

  • Simran October 9, 2012, 6:12 pm

    Hahaha! Very funny, got me laughing all day. Thanks.

  • Master October 9, 2012, 5:11 pm

    Joker joining the Army:

    Officer: We need you in the army.
    Joker: I’ll join but on three conditions.
    Officer: Ok. what are the conditions?
    Joker: My first condition is that I’ll not wear the uniform because it is hot.
    Officer: Ok. What is the second condition?
    Joker: I’ll not do the perade and other training under the sun because it is hot. I’ll only do it under the shed or some kind of shadow cover.
    Officer: Ok. What is your third condition?
    Joker: And my last and most important condition is that during war times, I’ll remain on leave.

    🙂

  • Tibebe solomon October 9, 2012, 9:18 am

    Thanks, you made me feel over the moon. Keep up the good job.

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