Funny Yo Mama Jokes

by Stephen on March 22, 2013 · 204 comments

in Jokes

Yo mama teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles.

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Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was a Prince.

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Yo momma is so fat, when she gets on a scale it says… to be continued.

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Yo mama is so ugly, she went in a haunted house and came out with a job application.

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Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate reads: “Expired”.

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Yo momma is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

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Yo mama is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio.

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Yo mama is so poor, she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.

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Yo mama is so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.

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Yo mama is so fat, when she wears her grey swimsuit at the beach the whales call her name.

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Yo mama is so fat, her bellybutton has an echo.

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Yo mama is so fat, when she walks in front of the TV, you miss 20 minutes of your show.

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Yo mama is so fat, she beeps when she backs up.

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Yo mama is so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up.

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Yo mama is so poor, when a cigarette is stepped on, she said,”Hey, who turned off the heater?”

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Yo mama is so fat, the army stole her pants for a parachute.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she went to the orthodontist to get a bluetooth.

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Yo momma is so fat, when she went to space, NASA said they found a new planet.

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Yo mama’s house is so small, she ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside.

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Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

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Yo mama is so fat, when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her.

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Yo mama is so fat, when a bus hit her, she said, “Who threw that rock?”

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Yo mama is so ugly, when she walked into a bank, they turned off the cameras.

Most Popular Jokes:

{ 204 comments… read them below or add one }

1. Stephen — March 22, 2013 at 11:27 am

Yo mama teeth are so black, the car’s check oil light comes on.

Yo mama is not so smart, she studied for a drug test.

Yo momma is so dumb, she puts lipstick on her head so she could make-up her mind.

Yo mama is so fat, she dosen’t need internet, she’s already world wide.

2. Sandy — March 29, 2013 at 7:29 am

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on the toilet it broke right into pieces.

3. Jayde — March 30, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Your mama so stupid, she sat on the tv to watch the couch.

4. Stephen — April 1, 2013 at 2:05 pm

Yo mammas so black she went to night school and they marked her absent.

5. Myron — April 5, 2013 at 2:14 pm

Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said “moving.”

6. Kat — April 7, 2013 at 1:14 pm

Yo mamma so skinny they use her as a toothpick at wimpy.

7. Fanuel — April 9, 2013 at 4:49 pm

Your mama is so fat that your father needs a GPS to find her ass.

8. Ifrah — April 11, 2013 at 7:23 am

Yo mama is so fat she carries her husband like a baby.

9. Jonathan — April 12, 2013 at 12:22 pm

Yo mama so fat she bought a fur coat and the whole species went extinct.

Yo mama so fat when she walked through a drive through people thought she was a Cadillac escalade.

10. Hidden — April 12, 2013 at 12:39 pm

Yo mama is so fat, she doesn’t fit in this joke.

11. Hunter — April 12, 2013 at 12:46 pm

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

12. Cassy — April 12, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Yo mama so fat, when she sat around the house, she sat around the house!

Yo mama so black, when she was trying to move her TV at night they said “We have a GHOST!”

Yo mama so dumb, she used a ruler to measure how long she sleeps.

Yo mama so ugly, she steps in front of the mirror and it shade-rd into pieces.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it showed her phone number.

13. Paullister — April 13, 2013 at 8:45 pm

Yo moma so stupid she walked u to a crake head and said your crake is showing…

Yo moma so ugly Bob the builder said we can’t fix that.

14. Dakota — April 14, 2013 at 1:18 pm

Yo mamas so fat she left wearing hi-heals and came back wearing flats.

15. Ryan — April 14, 2013 at 1:43 pm

Yo mama so fat they used her sweat to make the Pacific Ocean;(

16. Steven — April 14, 2013 at 6:08 pm

Yo mamma’s so fat she jumped off the Empire State Building and bounced back up.

Yo mamma’s so dumb she got locked in the toilet store and wet her pants.

Yo mamma’s so fat when she takes 1 step she caused earthquakes measured 10.9.

Yo mamma’s so ugly she went to an ugly contest and the judges said “No professionals”

17. Rachel — April 14, 2013 at 6:21 pm

Yo mama so stupid she played I got your nose with voldeamort.

18. Miles — April 14, 2013 at 6:29 pm

Yo mammas so skinny that when a skeleton saw her the skeleten said “Damn!!!!”

19. Kenny — April 14, 2013 at 8:53 pm

I like yo mamma jokes because they are funny and make me laugh a lot.

20. Shyanne — April 14, 2013 at 8:54 pm

Yo momma’s hair is so short, she curls the hair with a grain of rice.

Yo momma’s so stupid, she got locked in big Y and starved to death.

21. Kiki — April 17, 2013 at 11:02 pm

Your mom is so fat when she jumped into the ocean the Whales started singing we are family!!

Your momma so fat she had to get baptized at seaworld.

22. David — April 18, 2013 at 11:11 am

Yo mamma so tall she tripped on a rock in Minnesota and fell in Florida

23. Seth — April 18, 2013 at 11:12 am

Yo momma so fat she had to use cheats on Wii Fit.

24. Kyle — April 18, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Your mama is so stupid she got locked in a corner store and strafed to death.

25. Anthony vaca — April 18, 2013 at 6:32 pm

Your mama is so ugly she made the blind kids cry.

Your mama is so fat when she went to in and out she could go in but she can’t go out.

26. Josh — April 18, 2013 at 7:48 pm

Yo mamas armpits are so hairy that Chinese people get tickeled.

27. Hayden ford — April 18, 2013 at 10:18 pm

Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the super bowl and the other brought cereal.

Yo mama is like a hardware store 5cents a screw.

Yo mama is like a microwave even a 4 yr old can turn her on.

28. Riley Shaw — April 19, 2013 at 11:01 am

Yo mama is so fat dora can’t even explore her.

Yo mama is so stupid she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Yo momma so dumb that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!

29. Zombie Cat — April 23, 2013 at 4:39 pm

Yo mama so fat when she drives thru Mcdonalds the cashier says ca ching.

Yo mama so old when she sits in the back seat the kids don’t scream ‘are we there yet’ they scream ‘is she dead yet’.

30. Jacob — April 23, 2013 at 6:51 pm

You mama is so stupid she thought shit was choclate.

You mama is so fat she sat on walmart and lowered the prices.

31. Adrain — April 24, 2013 at 3:52 pm

Yo mamma so fat she sat on the toilet it said abcdef get your fat ass off of me.

32. Rafael — April 25, 2013 at 7:56 am

Your momma so fat I took a pic of her 5 Christmases ago and its still printing.

33. Sam — April 25, 2013 at 3:12 pm

Yo mamma so fat she went for a swim and Spain claimed her as their country.

34. Parker — April 25, 2013 at 7:55 pm

Yo mama so stupid she taped a piece of paper on the T.V. and called it pay-per-view. Wa Wa Wa

35. Dakota — April 25, 2013 at 8:04 pm

Yo mama is so dark she spits chocolate milk.

36. Rudybear — April 25, 2013 at 10:17 pm

Yo mama is stupid that she put a book in someones face and called facebook.

37. Jordan Muchmore — April 26, 2013 at 10:04 am

Yo mama so old she farts out dust.

Yo mama so stupid she went to the hobby lobby and thought paint was toothpaste.

Yo mama so black she went outside and the streetlights came on.

Yo mama so fat she uses the pacific ocean as a bath.

Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a wireless phone cord.

38. Kailie Stanichowsky — April 26, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Yo mama so stupid, she bought tickets to Xbox Live.

39. Vanessa — April 27, 2013 at 9:07 pm

Yo mama is so old that when she farts, dust comes out.

Yo mama is so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss goodbye.

40. Hidden — April 28, 2013 at 8:24 am

Yo mamma’s so old her breast milk is like powder.

41. Bob — April 29, 2013 at 5:01 pm

Yo mama is so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat the other people yell taxi, taxi.

42. Jordan — April 30, 2013 at 3:56 pm

Your mama so ugly when she walks in a room with kittens they run and hide.

Your mama so fat she tied a snake and made it into her bracelet.

Your mama so fat when she layed on the couch she made it into a blanket.

Your mama so tall she looked down on mt. Everest.

Your mama so big she looked on her own child and it looked like an ant.

Your mama so fat when she puts on yellow people think shes a bus.

43. Tyler — April 30, 2013 at 10:52 pm

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the T.V. you missed 2 episodes of your favorite show.

44. Q — May 1, 2013 at 4:06 pm

Yo mamma so stupid when she went to the quick shop she thought she could climb mountain dew.

45. Super Sniper — May 1, 2013 at 5:43 pm

Yo mama so ugly, scorpion said “STAY Over THERE!!”

Yo mama so fat when she died she broke the stair way to heaven.

46. Anonymous — May 2, 2013 at 1:41 pm

Yo mama is so black, she goes to funerals naked.

Yo mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.

Yo mama is like a lightswitch, even a little kid can turn her on!

47. Hendrik — May 2, 2013 at 10:07 pm

Yo momma is so fat, her belt’s the equator.

48. Elizabeth — May 4, 2013 at 1:56 pm

Yo mamma is so ugly her tears run down the back of her head because they’re afraid of her face.

49. Rigo — May 5, 2013 at 1:12 pm

Yo mamas so poor I threw a rock at her bin she popped out and said who knocked.

Yo mama so fat when she walked past the TV I missed 3 seasons.

50. Swag — May 5, 2013 at 7:23 pm

Yo mama is so fat when she sat on the iPhone she made an iPad lol.

51. Platanito — May 5, 2013 at 8:05 pm

Yo mamma so dumb she stole free samples :)

Your mamma so ugly she gave Freddy Kruker NIGHTMARES

52. Daedae — May 6, 2013 at 12:49 pm

Yo mamma so fat when she jumped out the window nobody laughed but the ground cracked up.

53. Trey — May 6, 2013 at 4:01 pm

Yo mama is so fat that when she went surfing all the people at the beach said tsunami.

Yo mama is so fat when she bent down the cops arrested her for selling crack.

54. Irvin — May 6, 2013 at 9:00 pm

Your momma is so fat, God can’t even lift her spirit.

55. Malachi Idrgaf Armour — May 7, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Yo momma is so ugly, she looked in the mirror and the mirror disappered :D

Yo momma is so stupid, she put on a yellow shirt and she started singing the banana song!!!! bang bang !!!!

56. Nimo Musse — May 7, 2013 at 7:44 pm

Yo mama so ugly that when she looked in the mirror it shattered and said rated r.

57. Jdogg — May 7, 2013 at 7:59 pm

You mama so fat she passed by my window and I missed 2 days of sunlight.

You mama so stupid she saw a bus with white kids in it and said stop that twinkle.

58. Cruz Hernandez — May 10, 2013 at 9:05 am

Yo mama is so fat she is the reason people invented double doors.

Yo mom is so ugly she gave freddy kugar nightmares.

Yo momma is so poor when I went to her house I asked her if I could use the bathroom she said pick a corner.

59. Austin — May 10, 2013 at 12:58 pm

Yo mama so ugly when she went to take a shower the water jumped out.

60. Me — May 12, 2013 at 11:48 pm

Your mama so fat when she triped over gravy poured out.

61. Brittany — May 13, 2013 at 7:43 am

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washingtons nose.

Yo mama’s teeth so yellow she took a drink of her water and it turned into lemonade.

Yo mama so fat even Bin Laden can’t even blow her up.

62. Parker — May 13, 2013 at 4:55 pm

Yo mama so fat when she fell off her bike and skinned her knee gravy started gushing everywhere.

63. Aly — May 13, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Yo momma so dumb when the judge said “order in the court” she said “Can I have a burger and some fries please?”

Yo momma so fat she uses the world as her bouncy ball.

Yo momma so fat when she sat on a quarter she made a dollar.

64. Deondre — May 14, 2013 at 8:21 am

Yo mama so fat even Rick Ross said uhhh!

65. Charles — May 14, 2013 at 10:22 am

Your moma is so short when she smokes weed she can’t even get high.

66. ThatOneGuy — May 14, 2013 at 10:30 am

Yo mama did your dad so hard that even ObamaCare, Nationwide, or Statefarm combine can’t cover the damages to him.

67. Lovepink — May 14, 2013 at 4:47 pm

Yo mama is so fat that she has to iron her pants on her own driveway.

68. Awseome — May 14, 2013 at 4:48 pm

Yo mama so dumb, she stole free samples.

69. Yo momma — May 15, 2013 at 12:02 pm

Yo mamma so white she makes casper look like a nigga.

70. Kitty Kat — May 16, 2013 at 11:18 am

Yo mama is so stinky a skunk had to hold his nose.

71. Harlem shaker — May 17, 2013 at 11:55 am

Yo mama is so black that when the cops were chasing her last night they shot a bullet and it came back saying, “I can’t find her.”

72. Justin — May 17, 2013 at 3:34 pm

Yo mama is so hairy when she went to the jungle people said there goes big foot.

73. Nick Brewer — May 17, 2013 at 3:59 pm

Yo mama so dumb when she walked into Target she said don’t shoot.

74. Charlie Fisher — May 20, 2013 at 12:48 am

Yo Moma is so fat that she can sing We Are The World all by herself!

Yo Moma is so fat that Evil Knievel asked if he could jump! He failed so Robbie Knievel is going to try!

75. YO MOMMA!!! :) — May 20, 2013 at 4:58 am

Yo momma so stupid she made an appointment with Dr.Pepper.

Yo momma so ugly when she looked out the window she was arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so hairy you were born you had carpet burn.

Yo momma so fat her farts caused global warming.

Yo momma so hairy bigfoot takes pictures of her.

76. Jacori — May 20, 2013 at 11:58 am

Yo mama so hairy she uses a lime mower to shave.

77. Jake — May 20, 2013 at 12:37 pm

Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car.

78. Michael — May 20, 2013 at 2:14 pm

Yo mama is so fat she plays pool with the planet.

Yo mama so fat she caused continetal drift.

Yo mama so stupid she walked by a car with black people in it and they locked the door and she felt like a badass but then she relized it was her car.

79. That idiot — May 20, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Yo mama’s so fat, when she died on Call Of Duty, the player earned a 5 KILL STREAK!

80. Hill — May 22, 2013 at 9:15 pm

Yo moma head is so bald if I put a line throught it will look like my butt.

81. Tony — May 23, 2013 at 10:25 am

Yo mama’s so fat every time she turns around it’s her birthday.

82. Jojo — May 25, 2013 at 8:47 pm

Yo mama so dumb when she saw a yellow bus with white kids on it she said “STOP THAT TWINKIE.”

83. Assten — May 27, 2013 at 1:16 am

You momma is so stupid, she put two quarters in hear ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cents.

84. D why — May 27, 2013 at 8:03 am

Yo mama is so fat, she fills up the tub then turns on the water.

85. Awesome — May 27, 2013 at 12:14 pm

Yo mama so ugly that even hello kitty said bye.

86. Monster — May 27, 2013 at 2:45 pm

Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides if the family.

Yo mama so fat she broke the stair way to heaven.

87. Coby — May 28, 2013 at 2:53 pm

Yo mama’s so stupid when she saw a commercial for minecraft she said, “my house!”

88. Coby — May 28, 2013 at 2:56 pm

Yo mamas so fat, she makes Shaq’s shoe size look like a baby’s.

89. Heypeepz — May 28, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Yo mama so fat she fell on the beach and landed in China.

90. Zelly — May 29, 2013 at 9:50 am

Yo mama so fat I pictured her in my mind and broke my neck.

Yo mama so ugly, I asked her what the most hideous thing she seen was and she said a mirror.

Yo mama house so dirty her roaches wear slippers.

91. Jordan — May 29, 2013 at 10:58 am

Yo mama so ugly that when she looked in the mirror, her reflection said “Meeeeeeeerrrrrccccccccy, please?!”

92. JdogChrisman — May 29, 2013 at 11:08 am

Yo mama is so ugly she threw a boomerang and it never came back.

93. Lennox — May 29, 2013 at 2:49 pm

Yo mama so ugly, she made King Kong look cute :0

94. Holden — May 31, 2013 at 1:08 pm

Yo mama is so stupid she tried to wash off a black eye.

95. Bob — May 31, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said “A B C D E F G, get the f*ck off of me.”

96. Stardust — May 31, 2013 at 11:47 pm

Yo mama is so lazy she’s got a peg-leg with a kickstand.

Yo mamas so fat she ran after a school bus full of white kids and said “stop that twinkie!”

Yo mamas so stupid she though a scholarship was a boat full of students.

Yo mamas so poor she has cheerios for earrings.

Yo mamas such a redneck she drinks mountain dew through a slim jim.

Yo mamas so ugly she needs a prescription mirror.

Yo mamas so ghetto she mixes corn bread powder with kool aid in a KFC bucket.

97. Dakota gaudette fuller — June 1, 2013 at 9:04 am

Your mamas so fat she sat on a quarter and a burger came out of George Washington nose.

98. Yoyo — June 1, 2013 at 12:16 pm

Yo mama so big she broke her leg off the weight.

Yo mama so ugly she turned medusa into stone.

99. Julia — June 2, 2013 at 9:05 am

Yo mama is so stupid when she walked into Walgreens she said these walls ain’t green.

Yo mama is so stupid she sold her computer to pay the internet.

Yo mama is so ugly when she looks in the mirror her reflection runs away.

Yo mama is so stupid she sold her car to pay the gas.

Yo mama is so old she used to babysit Jesus.

Yo mama is so stupid she tried to put M & M’s in alphabetical order.

Yo mama is so skinny she can fry ribs on her ribs.

Yo mama is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before her.

Yo mama is so ugly even Freddy Krueger gets nightmares.

Yo mama is so fat she was born on 4th 5th & 6th of march.

100. Julia — June 2, 2013 at 9:10 am

Yo mama is so stupid when she found a battery and said I got the power.

Okay this was my last one. Next week I’ll have more or tomorrow.

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