Great marriage story 5 comments
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…
5 Responses to: Great marriage story
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tina -- 22 Nov 08 at 6:16 am
really heart touchin….! sheded tears after reading ur real story….! long live couples ….!
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Annie -- 21 Jan 09 at 3:19 am
Really inspiring and heart touching story. I also shed tears after reading it. I hope every once in a while husbands do it also to theirs wives.
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sri shilpa -- 9 Feb 09 at 9:04 am
Really heart touching
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muzik -- 27 Sep 09 at 5:19 pm
This is truly heart rendering. but from the information I was able to pull from this post reveals to me several things:
For one, this woman needs to kiss her mans feet and thank god that he didnt take her up on her offer to divorce her. Nothing this woman mentioned about her reasons for divorce had anything to do with him demeaning her person or disrespecting her as his wife, and as a woman. Her only reason was romance in the marriage being gone. Well I hate to break it to you, romance goes both ways. No mention was ever made that she went out of her way to promote the kind of romance she desired. And as man, I have to tell you, if I came home to someone who looked like my mother on a bad day, and hear her complaining about what Im not doing, its not going to make me romantic. If romance was so important to her that it was a deal breaker, than it was up to her to communicate this to her husband. Because its obvious to me he wasnt getting that message. If a woman is so willing to let the marriage go simply out of what she perceives is not there, then let her go. she is blind-sighted and selfish. And the problem with selfish partners is that there is nothing you can do that will be good enough for them. If it wasnt romance he wasnt good at, it would have been something else he failed. at.
Second point, women are detailed in journaling things that bother them the most. If those things written in this blog that her husband wrote are mentioned here, you can bet they are true things about her, its nothing she would have consented to journaling here if it wasnt the truth. no one will be documenting negative things about themselves when its divorce they are seeking. Their argument will sway you to think its the other guys fault. So……I think her tears came with a double edged sword when she realized how selfish she was, and it took her husband to not only make her see the blindness she was in, but also the love she was actually getting, but didnt see. Everyone looks at life through a filter, and its those filters that become our worst enemy when things dont come our way in the form we expect to see them. My hat comes off to who ever this man is for making her see the error of her ways, and in such a loving and gentile way!….. how so lucky she is to have him as her husband. It could have gone a very different way. If it was me, I would have granted her wish for a divorce. But you see, life has an evil trick it plays on us. If we dont learn our lessons in life, they have a way of coming back around to haunt us, and often times in forms more intense and worse than before, just the faces, times, events and places are different. Im so glad this woman didnt have to learn what a terrific guy she has in the rear view mirror of life…. later on being with another man, who she perceived as more deserving than this man, but in reality turned out to be an abusive jerk who came home to her having two kids on each hip, but complaining as to why the house is a wreck and why his dinner isnt on the table. What a turn of events it would be! What a different blog this would have been if she had written this from the rear view mirror, and then coming to find out, this man that she divorced is now remarried, and she has to live out her days knowing that the love that this man really had for her, is now being given away to another woman, when it was really meant for her!. Count your blessings, young child. You have many things to learn in life. Take those filtered glasses off and throw them away and let god bless you to see what you have, rather than focusing on what you dont have! There is no evidence in this blog that he was abusive, or demeaning to you either as his wife, or as a woman, but you wanted to divorce him because romance was gone? unbelievable! Tomorrow, I would wake up and thank god your husband is him and not me. Because I would have granted your wish, never to later be reconsidered. Look, marriage is hard enough without throwing things at it to make it fail. It takes more work and dedication, respect for each other as the person they are, not the person you think they should be. If you can love someone for who they are, and respect them as they are, your love will deepen, far deep than can be explained. The romance that you desire will come at the most unsuspecting times, and in unexpected ways with nothing more than maybe just the way he looks into your eyes. And as hard as marriage is, at the other end, the relationship you build together will be based on a foundation that nothing will be able to break, if you start out with respecting each other for who you each are, just the way you are. Communication, my dear is the blood that keeps this thing alive. Persistence will keep it going, and foundation of love you build will go deeper than your dreams could imagine. -
cel -- 3 Feb 10 at 8:58 am
Very inspiring..